this is me

this is me.

tired, hair needs washing, no make-up can't you tell because of those circles me.

the me who stumbles and thinks she knows and then has to just sit still to really trust me.

the me who seeks more sensuality, more space, more ease, less clutter, less spinning me.

quiet for the first time in days, calmed by her snoring dog, missing my mom so much my heart feels lost, me.

the me who keeps coming back to her own pace, to her own story, to her own way of being

me.

yes.

this is me. 

***

Over here, I'm sitting in the truth again of needing to go at my pace. Of needing to actually find that pace right now and wear it like a favorite decades-old t-shirt. This is nothing new really...this need to remember my pace is the only way. But when you are the CEO (plus every other possible position a business needs) of your own business that is run out of your home, it isn't easy. And no advice or words of wisdom that says differently is of interest to me.

And finding our way and stumbling and reaching out for a hand and hoping someone will be there and realizing that if no one is there we can actually still stand up on our own while we keep moving forward holding our flashlight. And then someone else will appear with a headlamp on and say, "Want to walk the next few steps together?"

And in that moment we find friendship and the reminder that we aren't alone.

Then we keep going and that person stops off to look at something shiny and we keep going and stumble and end up sitting right where we fall next to someone else who says, "I'm not sure what to do." And we give them the gift (but really give ourselves the gift) of saying, "This has worked for me. Want to try it?" And that person nods and we both get up and sit side by side on a bench for awhile and tell one another stories.

And it all repeats again and again in its twisty turny beautiful crazy way.

All of the truth nestled in these words is why I'm taking a few moments each day to stand in front of the mirror in my bathroom and check in. To choose love when I look at myself. To listen to the wisdom waiting in the quiet. This is why I'm taking more self-portraits of the quiet, tender-hearted, yes even super tired faced me.

I'm feeling a longing to be deeply seen for who I am and who I want to be, and I'm coming back to the truth that I'm the only one who can really give myself that gift in the deepest way that I need it.

I've hinted that I'd love for you to come along and join me in this adventure of looking in the mirror each day. Tomorrow, I hope to come back to this space and say, "Hey, this worked for me. Want to try it?" as I share more details about my next ecourse Water Your Soul :: Being Seen, which will be all about the mirror meditation and taking self-portraits in the quiet spaces. And then we can sit down and talk some more...

Today, I'm taking some time to sit in the stillness and go at my pace as I recalibrate after having house guests, an in-progress studio reorganization, a long to-do list, and the flu that has visited our little house. 

Sending light and love to you wherever you are on your path today,
Liz 

PS that necklace you seen in the photo is a little sterling silver sloth. yes, sloth. i found her last week on etsy (you might have spotted her on my adornments pinboard) and bought her as a talisman to remind me to keep going at my pace (even if that pace might seem slow to those looking in).

hand holds

Hand Holds: Practices for Reflective Living with Liz Lamoreux from Jen Lee on Vimeo.

The Gift of This Moment has a trailer! 

Everything about this video makes me so so happy. It was such a joy to be able to share the pieces of this kit with a few of the ladies at the Your Story Retreat. And, I read from my own book of poetry for the first time. Surreal and beautiful. (More on that soon.)

You can purchase this Home Retreat Kit here.

Learn more about the stories behind this new collection of good things in this series of posts.

give yourself the gift of this moment

A note from Liz: Today is the official launch day of The Gift of This Moment, a project I have been holding close to my heart for over a year now. I am so excited that it is ready to go out into the world to be a gentle and true companion for you on your journey. Read on for the details of this home retreat kit.

****

Some days it's the way the importance of what you're up to in the world sweeps you out, as if into a tide.

Other days it's the way the breeding inbox and never-ending details tap incessantly on your shoulder.

Or the way the future breathes down your back. And then you blink and turn the calendar and wonder where all those weeks and days and hours and minutes went. You wonder what you missed noticing and forgot to tuck in your heart and carry with you.

You wonder who you could have been if you let those moments change you instead of chase you.

Sometimes it's helpful to get tired of things like hype and speed and hamster wheels that promise you so much but in the end leave you spit out and spent with calendars heavy on scribbles and light on memories.

What if you didn't need a sabbatical in Tibet or a hike through the Himalayas to turn the ship around? What if reflective living was as simple as a moment in front of a mirror, a snapshot and a line penned on a napkin, or a book of holy heart words tucked in your bag the exact minute you need them?

What if it was a gift you could give yourself, that arrives gently at your door?

The Gift of This Moment Home Retreat Kit by Liz Lamoreux

Finally it's here: a collection of invitations, reminders and practices to keep you grounded, awake and clear so you don't miss your deep wisdom or your hidden treasures - those moments of seeing and hearing and embracing that first change us and then travel with us forever.

Give yourself this gift and receive:

• The Gift of This Moment: Practices for Reflective Living, a professionally recorded and beautifully designed audio CD featuring Liz Lamoreux's heart-felt stories and an introduction to her 3 Practices for Reflective Living.
• Seen: A Mirror Meditation Journal, a 30-Day companion for reconnecting with the person who knows you best - You. Paperback, 40 pages, including 18 invitations, notes and check-ins. Featuring line art by Liz Kalloch.
• In This Moment: Field Journal and Photo Album, your reminder to see and to notice, to root yourself deeply in the present. Carry with you, cherish, remember. Hard cover, double-wire bound, 86 pages, including 27 writing and photo prompts.
• Five Days in April: A Poetry Collection, for the times when your own words fail you. Paperback, 40 pages, including 20 soulful poems by Liz Lamoreux.
• Breathing from the Heart: Guided Meditations, five downloadable mp3s of professionally recorded meditations by Liz, whose training as a yoga instructor infuses and informs this journey.
• A Breathing from the Heart reminder sticker to place where you need it most.
• A custom-designed, travel-size mirror in a sheer organza bag to help you reconnect to yourself wherever you are.
• "Here" and "I am Beauty" temporary tattoos from Chickadee Road so you can adorn yourself with the reminders you most need to keep you present to your practice.
• Rejuvenate. Reconnect. Retreat. Black mini tote bag to hold together all the parts and pieces, plus your keys, your phone and other on-the-go essentials.

The Gift of This Moment Home Retreat Kit: All you need to rejuvenate, reconnect and retreat, any time, any place. No plane ticket required.

$135 USD, ships free worldwide

(From Jen Lee Productions)

a reflected reminder.

Continuing the reflection meditation practice.

Breathing in

Breathing out

Focusing just on me

This week, as I look in the mirror, I have been inviting in peace with each inhale. Then, I try to give the negative, nagging voices permission to quiet and settle inside this peace as I exhale.

And, I have been playing with jewelry…an idea born from a discovery of metal stamping letters in the garage at my in-law’s this summer that flowed into the desire to create daily reminders that would act as a talisman of sorts to wear around the neck…an invitation to quiet the mind in the midst of all that a day can bring.

This is a pendant I created this weekend.

It is a reminder to embrace my beauty.

When I look in the mirror, I read its words and pause just for a moment and remember. I pause to remember me.

I created it to be read when reflected in a mirror, so it is backward when you look at it straight on but forward when you most need to read it…when you are looking right at you.

A reflected reminder, a reflected invitation to embrace and own your beauty.

an invitation to see {self-portrait challenge}

Two years ago, my daily practice, for two months, was to look in the mirror for a few minutes everyday. I began this practice after reading an article by Elizabeth Gilbert in Yoga Journal (read more background about my previous experience with this meditation here and here).

A few weeks into this practice, I realized I had stopped just looking at me and instead had started seeing me. I began to see the beauty in the curves of my face and how my eyes sometimes seem to smile and the fullness of my lips. I began to see wisdom and truth. My internal self-talk began to soften.

For a few months, I have been thinking about starting this practice again. After a confusing couple of moments while on a trip this summer, moments that brought up that harsher self-talk, I found myself standing in front of a mirror and pausing.

I stood there and looked myself in the eye and felt myself begin to crumble a bit. I was honest with myself about the feelings that had surfaced and could feel that invitation to simply "lose it." In that moment, I took a deep breath, and looking eye to eye with me, I felt an invitation to seek some refuge within this meditation I had spent time with two years ago. So much emotion knocked inside me as I looked at myself, trying to see beauty. I didn't want to give into that internal pull to lose it, as I needed to exit the bathroom at some point in a manner that seemed pulled together. So I stood there watching the shadow of my earring that the light from the skylight was creating…I just watched the shadow on my face and how light seemed to dance around it. I took in that moment and found my breath.

The next day, I found myself standing in front of this mirror again, and I focused on the way my bangs brushed across my forehead. The day after that, I focused on the slight curve of my lips right before a full smile spread across my face. And on and on. For about three weeks now, I have spent a few minutes each day just looking at me…trying to see me again.

Earlier today, I stood eye to eye with me and felt that self-talk soften just a bit.

This reflection mediation has become my practice yet again.

I am trying to see me…to see more than what someone else might see when making assumptions or judgments…to see more than what I see when doing the same. I am looking at the shadows and the light and trying to give myself permission to crack open a bit more.

I am standing eye to eye with me and trying to let the shadows dance their way into the light and shine just a bit.

I am giving myself permission to see beauty.

I am giving myself permission to see me.

(read Elizabeth Gilbert's full article here)

*****

updated in 2011: Self-Portrait Challenge (SPC) was a website and community that encouraged people to take and share self-portraits. I loved this project! However, I am sad to report that it no longer has an active website, so I have removed links that appeared in the posts connected to my participation in this project.