this is me
this is me.
tired, hair needs washing, no make-up can't you tell because of those circles me.
the me who stumbles and thinks she knows and then has to just sit still to really trust me.
the me who seeks more sensuality, more space, more ease, less clutter, less spinning me.
quiet for the first time in days, calmed by her snoring dog, missing my mom so much my heart feels lost, me.
the me who keeps coming back to her own pace, to her own story, to her own way of being
me.
yes.
this is me.
***
Over here, I'm sitting in the truth again of needing to go at my pace. Of needing to actually find that pace right now and wear it like a favorite decades-old t-shirt. This is nothing new really...this need to remember my pace is the only way. But when you are the CEO (plus every other possible position a business needs) of your own business that is run out of your home, it isn't easy. And no advice or words of wisdom that says differently is of interest to me.
And finding our way and stumbling and reaching out for a hand and hoping someone will be there and realizing that if no one is there we can actually still stand up on our own while we keep moving forward holding our flashlight. And then someone else will appear with a headlamp on and say, "Want to walk the next few steps together?"
And in that moment we find friendship and the reminder that we aren't alone.
Then we keep going and that person stops off to look at something shiny and we keep going and stumble and end up sitting right where we fall next to someone else who says, "I'm not sure what to do." And we give them the gift (but really give ourselves the gift) of saying, "This has worked for me. Want to try it?" And that person nods and we both get up and sit side by side on a bench for awhile and tell one another stories.
And it all repeats again and again in its twisty turny beautiful crazy way.
All of the truth nestled in these words is why I'm taking a few moments each day to stand in front of the mirror in my bathroom and check in. To choose love when I look at myself. To listen to the wisdom waiting in the quiet. This is why I'm taking more self-portraits of the quiet, tender-hearted, yes even super tired faced me.
I'm feeling a longing to be deeply seen for who I am and who I want to be, and I'm coming back to the truth that I'm the only one who can really give myself that gift in the deepest way that I need it.
I've hinted that I'd love for you to come along and join me in this adventure of looking in the mirror each day. Tomorrow, I hope to come back to this space and say, "Hey, this worked for me. Want to try it?" as I share more details about my next ecourse Water Your Soul :: Being Seen, which will be all about the mirror meditation and taking self-portraits in the quiet spaces. And then we can sit down and talk some more...
Today, I'm taking some time to sit in the stillness and go at my pace as I recalibrate after having house guests, an in-progress studio reorganization, a long to-do list, and the flu that has visited our little house.
Sending light and love to you wherever you are on your path today,
Liz
PS that necklace you seen in the photo is a little sterling silver sloth. yes, sloth. i found her last week on etsy (you might have spotted her on my adornments pinboard) and bought her as a talisman to remind me to keep going at my pace (even if that pace might seem slow to those looking in).
mirror meditation, self-portrait in real
Reader Comments (6)
I've been on an internet haitus, and on a haitus from all the self-help do it this way and you'll succeed found all around me. And finally this morning early I wrote in my journal "I am letting go of all the striving to make myself fit into boxes, routines, mind-sets, ways, goals that are dragging me down because they are not my way. My way isn't wrong." And then I read your post and a resounding Yes! vibrated through my body. Thank you.
these days i am practicing slowness myself. taking less time on the internet. making time for walking, reading and daydreaming. and going to bed shockingly early but it's what feels good and what i need.
Love the sloth. I look at it this way: as long as you are moving, you are lapping everybody on the couch. The pace doesn't matter. The idea of achieving balance has become this onerous, pressure-filled buzz-word thing. I think part of that is that it projects into the future. We only have THIS exact moment. *I see you*
I just wrote to some friends that I have my miner's hat with the headlamp on as I do my work in the underground labyrinth of my soul, dodging falling rocks ... so happy to "run into" you. I come here because you so beautifully remind me to follow my own inner guidance, trust myself and my process and to keep looking up for the inevitable flashes of inspiration and beauty in my life. I am grateful for the reminder to pick up my mirror meditation journal and do some necessary witnessing. Oh, my talisman seems to be a hedgehog who is hanging out in her woods, ready to roll up into a prickly ball if necessary to nurture the tender buds taking root within. I have to say, I love your slothness (which doesn't appear that slow to me!) xo
Liz, I am always so comforted and inspired by your words. I bought two sterling silver "o's" today. One with the word serenity on both sides, the other with acceptance. Story is still my word, but in the balance that I seek I need acceptance to keep in touch with serenity. Which is so damn hard. And you're right all we can do is keep reaching out to each other and offering help and encouragement. The way that you share your real self in the midst of your real life is so authentic and I am so grateful that you are willing to shine that lovely honest light of yours into the world, it brightens mine. Thank you.
Hello, beautiful you. I think you are a calming presence in your own life. It's like two sides of the same person. I wish I were more in tune with the side of myself telling me to sit in stillness, as you are. Thank you for the reminder.