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Welcome to my corner of the world. I'm so glad you're here. Join me in a conversation about how we build a bridge between daily life and the life we're longing for. As you explore, you'll discover stories, some of my favorite things, a whole lot of love, and perhaps even join me in a little lip syncing. Learn more about me right here.

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Entries in take a breath (52)

Wednesday
Jul082009

simple things (on this day)

july 8

a pause at metropolitan market . july 8, 2009

christina has invited another day of "the simple things." i am bit late to the party, but i do so want to play along...especially because this was a day when i needed the reminder to gather the simple things close to me, to breathe them in, and to know that this is the good stuff that makes up this life.


we must remind ourselves of the simple goodness that makes up this journey.

my list...

happy skirts . tiny turner sings "better be good to me" into my ear and i dance in my seat at the cafe . the opportunity to make someone smile . the leaf atop my vanilla soy latte . momentum, when it chooses to visit . my husband's one day growth of beard . the visit to the dentist today that resulted in the words i have never heard before "you have no cavities" (took 33 years) . a friend who nods in understanding . a friend who holds the space for me . striped socks . owning that this is me . possibility that is each day . when someone says "yes" . that quilt, yes, that one . when the planted seed begins to stretch . the rhythm of each breath .

(thank you christina. this has really been the perfect bookend to this day.)

(and you reading this, you should go check out the links to all souls playing along today. go on...take a few minutes and read a few...then make your own list.)

Saturday
Jun272009

.in this moment.

mandolin coffee

photo by jon

in this moment
find your breath

find the rhythm
inhale
notice how your body moves
exhale
notice how your mind settles

inhale

exhale

seek the space around your heart

inhale

exhale

inhale

exhale

inhale
begin to allow peace to fill this space

exhale
let this peace settle over you

inhale

exhale

inhale
breathe in this peace

exhale
begin to send peace
to someone
who needs this peace
in this moment

inhale

exhale

inhale

exhale

inhale
breathe this peace in

exhale
let it settle over you

inhale
feel this space around your heart

exhale
rest inside this peace within you

namaste

Wednesday
May062009

this day.

pathway_april

forest exploring, olympic peninsula . april, 2009


give yourself permission
to let this moment
this moment
right now
be just for you

find your breath


notice your next inhale...
then the exhale that follows

let your mind rest
inside the movement
of your breath
in your body

find the rhythm of this movement


inhale
chest opens
exhale
shoulders relax
inhale
heart opens
exhale
feel the space inside you

when you are ready
to return
to what is to happen next
know this:

you have all the tools you need for this day
and the next
and the next

namaste.

Tuesday
Mar172009

the feelings, always the feelings.

light

cannon beach light . july, 2007

a couple of years ago, i posted about a poem by sharon olds that made me exclaim "oh shit" right as i finished reading it. this "oh shit" had to do with the mirror the poet lifted in front of my life as i read her words.

i thought of this yesterday, as i sat in the mandolin cafe reading thunder and lightning by natalie goldberg. i thought of this as i found myself grabbing a sticky note and writing "holy shit!" with big arrows toward two sentences in back-to-back paragraphs on page 65:

In all the years I was writing I had never imagined this response.
I learned I can't control people's reactions.

she was specifically talking about her ex-husband's reaction to her novel Banana Rose and how the book mirrored some of her own experiences, including their break-up. as the reader (and having read the book), i had my own assumptions about how he would react...about how "family" always reacts. but then goldberg writes that when he called her to tell her he had read it, his reaction surprised her and they had the best and deepest conversation they had had since the divorce. she writes:

I learned I can't control people's reactions. My job is to work with my writing and make it the best I can.

to this i nod and say yes yes (even as i stare at my notebook and cross something out worried that a member of my family might read it if i suddenly died and my notebooks were found and read and misunderstood).

but the way my mind was working in the moment i read those words had me jumping to another thought: i simply have to let people have their feelings.

there is a need inside me to protect the feelings of others. yes, i smile, this is what i tell myself. i want to protect them from the truth i want to share or from feeling bad because i need to set a boundary or from misunderstanding me. i twist and turn possibilities in my mind in this attempt to protect. how should i say this? how can i tell the truth? what will they think if i write that? what if i said, "what you just said deeply hurt me" or "what you said last summer was like a sucker punch"? what would happen if i just said "no"? the twisting and turning in my mind has begun to make me nauseated. it is as though i am at disney quest in chicago with my brother in the late nineties and we are inside that red spinning rollercoaster-like machine and i just want out.

here is the truth i so do not want to admit...to me...to you...to this white space in front of me. i convince myself that i am protecting people's feelings, when in reality i am simply afraid they won't like me. that they will reject me. that they will see me for who i really am. that they won't love me.

that is the simple and real and wide truth.

and this is indeed a lesson i have sifted through before, written about before. but this is another layer to the lesson. i don't see growth as part of a checklist. there is not space for, "oh good. glad i got that one over with. time to move onto the next one." each day, we learn another piece, perhaps repeating a lesson in a new way (or an old way). again, we fall into the hole in the sidewalk, but realize we know the way out.

for me, in this moment, taking a breath and simply inviting myself to let people have their feelings is another layer to this deep understanding that i am only in charge of my reaction. and i cannot stop others from having their reactions. it might be obvious, but that doesn't mean it is easy.

this is what i am focusing on right now: as do my best to i come from a place of truth and love as i walk in my life, i am only in charge of me.

it all is, again, another opportunity to step into the light.
to step into the light and see.
to then stand in the light and open my mind and heart to what i already know.
to stand in the light and be open to whatever will happen next.

Friday
Mar062009

the blue.

gearhart ocean morning

gearhart, oregon . february, 2009

the blue sky peeks in at me as i sit here, still in blue flannel pajamas, collar softly brushing my neck, and thick socks; a quilt someone's someone made years ago tucked around me. the childhood taste of cheerios and milk still resting in my mouth and the smell of both in the air. the "letting go" candle burns on the table beside me as millie sleeps to the sound of the heater kicking on and blowing its whirring warm air around us. i stare back at the sky through the slits. i stare back at the reaching toward the blue pine and let the whirring thoughts rest for a moment. the thoughts rest for just a moment as i breathe in and try to focus only on the way the breath moves around my heart and through my body from my toes to my crown. i focus on this breath and the blue and i close my eyes. i close my eyes as the salted water arrives and i try to hold onto the space. with each breath, i try to hold onto the space.