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Welcome to my corner of the world. I'm so glad you're here. Join me in a conversation about how we build a bridge between daily life and the life we're longing for. As you explore, you'll discover stories, some of my favorite things, a whole lot of love, and perhaps even join me in a little lip syncing. Learn more about me right here.

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Entries in it is what it is (32)

Saturday
Sep222007

today

holding hands on the couch
holding hands on the couch, 9.22.07

Last night, around 2 AM, I became violently ill. (That worst kind of middle of the night "I am sitting on and cannot move from the very bathroom fixture toward which I need to be facing" kind of ill.) And, my husband took care of me in all my, well, let's be honest, in all my grossness. He never once invited me to feel worse than I already did. (Thank you my dear friend.)

So today has been a day filled with:

Glasses of Powerade and meals of oyster crackers.
An episode of the "History Detectives" (during which I announced, "I think I have actually found what it is I want to do with my life").
The "Nature" episode about hippos. (Two words. Holy crappoly. They are the wackiest, coolest creatures.)
A pick-me-up first quarter of the Notre Dame football game (the rest of the game, well, the rest of the game did not so much improve my spirits, me being a ND grad and all).
Holding hands on the couch.
Taking an "I don't think I moved from this position for two hours" nap.
Adding a few more rows to the scarf I am crocheting.
Eating a dinner of rotisserie chicken, corn, and tater tots (somehow this was the combination that sounded good…perhaps because it is a bit like a Thanksgiving meal in a way, which does seem to comfort).
Lots of very kind words uttered by my husband as he basically spent the entire day taking care of me.
Spending a wee bit of time on the sewing machine doing some quick rows of patchwork.
Being very thankful that I have not experienced additional rounds of whatever got me last night (we are thinking food poisoning from the fish I had at dinner perhaps…ugh).
More holding hands on the couch.
Watching an episode of "Dr. Who" followed by an episode of (what is becoming my new favorite sci-fi show) "Torchwood." Ladies, have you seen that Captain Jack Harkness?? My oh my.

I wanted today to be filled with:

A lot of sewing in preparation for ArtFiberFest vendor night (according to Teesha's site there are a few spots left...you should come out here for it...I'd love to see you).
Walking along Ruston Way.
Eating breakfast at The Spar (when you come, I will take you to eat breakfast there…the view of The Sound is incredible).
Another two hours toward completing "The Great Cleanup/Organization of 2007."
More sewing.
Prepping my shop for the "last day of summer sale that will last the first week of autumn" I planned to begin today (it is going to have to wait until Monday I think as I another nap is probably in order right now…but this is a little teaser to say: all the purses in my shop are going on sale Monday as I want to move on to some fall items/fabrics and all that good stuff…and I think it will just be fun to have a sale every now and then...)

Even though I didn't feel up to doing all that I wanted today, sitting on the couch and holding hands was just about the most perfect way to spend the day a girl could have I think...it's kind of an unexpected gift of slowing down and remembering...

Hope you were able to slow down a bit this weekend too...

Monday
Aug132007

breathe in, breathe out

IMG_5967

feeling a bit exhausted. reminding myself to breathe in and out.
life is good.
but wishing i was about to spend a few days at the beach.

today, i really spent some time thinking about how i am so blessed to have jon in my life. he keeps the sky from falling even when i try to convince myself the role of chicken little is to be played by me.

portland was good. i love that town. jon and i are finally finding our way around it, even if we do go in circles, or squares rather, because of all those one-way streets. had fun meeting folks at crafty wonderland and really enjoyed seeing my cousin and my brother. also got to meet susan, and i can't wait to hopefully have coffee with her the next time i am in town. i also bought a kendra binney print. i love that girl's art.

hope things are bright where you are...i would love it if you would share something wonderful that has happened in your world lately.

oh and i am slowly uploading some new totes and flags to my little shop this week, and i hope you will stop by and take a peek.

Tuesday
Jul312007

morning break {self-portrait challenge}

 

SPC: pattern week one

 

when i took this picture yesterday, i planned to write about how i am taking a bit of time each morning to drink my tea and walk around the yard to see what is growing, what needs watering, how the hydrangea blooms are doing, and so on. just like my grandmother would do every morning. what she would try to get me to do wtih her when i would visit. it was really nice to do this yesterday. i felt close to her but i also took a minute to just breathe.

but, i didn't do it again today. i didn't walk around the yard with my tea to see what is growing. it didn't even cross my mind to do it.

my current feelings seem to be frazzled, stressed, overwhelmed, annoyed, hurt...the list goes on and on. and it seems that when i most feel this way, i lose sight of the things that would invite me to feel better. i forget i have my own toolbox of how to heal myself.

that is how it goes.
i just keep doing the best i can.
even when the best i can doesn't seem all that great.
i just keep going.
i just keep listening for the little whispers from something greater than me.
i just keep remembering how to love.

and i try again tomorrow.

****

updated in 2011: Self-Portrait Challenge (SPC) was a website that encouraged people to take and share self-portraits. I am sad to report that it no longer has an active website, so I have removed links that appeared in the posts connected to my participation in this project.

Sunday
Jul292007

an affirmation.

my story matters.

(so does yours.)

joseph's coat rose

thank you magpie girl, jen, and krystyn for reminding me of this. even though i couldn't be in chicago, your words resonate deeply.

Sunday
Jul082007

on politics and patchwork

On July 4, Jon and I spent quite a few hours inside, still in our pajamas, watching The History Channel. They had a day-long marathon of the show Revolution. I came in, sleep still in my eyes, at about the time of the Boston Massacre (which really wasn't quite the massacre I had been lead to believe it was with each U.S. history book I have read). Over the next couple of hours, I must have said five times, "That John Adams is so smart. Crap. Why can't someone like him make decisions now?" We watched several episodes and took a break around the time Ben Franklin was becoming the "toast of France" as he was trying to persuade their King to help the thirteen colonies with the war.

After showering and working for a couple of hours, we tuned back in. Washington, who I learned was more than a little confused about his stand on slavery while at the same time having a black man for a best friend and having one of the clearest, most open minds of the time, was starting to hone in on a possible final victory. I must admit I was a bit surprised that the war was still going on several hours later seeing as though it takes us about a week or two to get through it in most U.S. History classes. As we watched the Founding Fathers create the Constitution, I heard a bee in my bonnet begin to buzz as I realized something that I suppose I already knew but hadn't honestly spent a lot of time thinking about: These men completely realized that they were "passing the buck" on the "slavery issue" on to the next generation (and as we know, the many, many, many after that one). These incredibly intelligent men who had said to the most powerful country in the world at the time, "Thanks for being here and helping us but we are so over your help now and just want to do our own thing." These men just passed the issue on. I was more than a bit pissed off about it.

Jon and I talked about how we had all these "aha" moments while watching these episodes of this pretty incredible show. My husband is someone who retains a lot and always seems to know the little facts about things (not to mention, he is the smartest person I know). He can read and watch things and remember the details. He is also someone who loves to learn and watches The History Channel and The Science Channel and all those others quite often. This is to say that the fact that he had aha moments during this show means that there is A LOT that people do not know about the American Revolution. In the way that I sometimes do, I started asking questions that I know he doesn't have answers to…like…"do you think George Bush knows anything about this? Do you think he knows anything about our country's history? Do you think he understands one bit about this? Do you think his staff looks at the Constitution?" Of course, Jon does not have these answers and usually said, "Sweetie, I don’t know." He doesn't often get angry in the way that I do. He stays a bit more even about it all. (I would have been the one burning my bra and he would have been the one picking me up from the police station with food for me to eat. The quiet supporter doing his part.)

Yesterday, I spent a lot of the day cutting and then sewing together pieces of patchwork. I am working with a "log cabin" patchwork design right now. And, I guess I spent so much time with it late into the night that my mind couldn't let it go. I dreamed about it. But, my dream wasn't about me doing patchwork. Nope. My dream was something along these lines: There was an entire room of politicians each attempting to figure out log cabin patchwork. To be honest, I don't remember what happened next. I am careful not to assume that if you couldn't figure it out, you were "out of there" because even though it is a bit of a puzzle and if you have fabric running a certain direction that you want "upright" or "sideways," you have to sew things together very specifically, it might be that the GWB's out there would have an easier time than the greatest political minds in history. Hard to know. (This is why I should have written it down when I woke up and shook my head trying to clear the "Tetris-like" patterns so I could go back to sleep.)

Imagine if we could just have a room where all the politicians would have to take a test? Maybe morality tests or tests of virtue would be one way to go. Heck, maybe the best way to decide who should remain in "power" would be to simply test on the Constitution: What it says a President can and cannot do. What the Supreme Court has ruled about this. Maybe we could add a few questions like: The thirteen colonies wanted their independence because a) they wanted to tax coffee instead of tea and those darn Brits wouldn't let them import coffee, b) Britain was becoming too liberal for them and they wanted to make sure they could still have a monarchy, c) they were distressed that the British military would wear only red coats and simply wanted the fashion of the time to change, or d) they wanted a voice in their own government and wanted representation if they were to be taxed.

A follow-up question could ask if the test taker thought that the Founding Fathers experiment should be scrapped in exchange for "all the government/political power" to be moved into the Executive Branch. Anyone who answered yes would have a door suddenly open underneath his or her chair and we would instantly know they were a Cylon. They would be immediately replaced with someone whose ideals most matched those of John Adams or even that "tomcat" Benjamin Franklin. We would no longer have to put up with politicians who think they are kings. Nope. Republican or Democrat. This test would weed out those seeking a shift into the new twenty-first century American Monarchy Experiment.

(Big deep breath.)

I could, of course, keep going here. But, as you know, this isn’t a political blog. No. It is more of a meditation meets crafty meets poetry meets being honest about my hiccups on my journey type of blog. But, last week, after reading a few articles on CNN.com after Bush commuted Libby's sentence; after walking down the hall to where Jon was working on more than one occasion to express my one sentence essays about my feelings about our President and then whirling around to go back to my little room; after spending several hours with the Founding Fathers and wishing we had anyone, ANYONE, who could stand up and be heard and be rallied behind like those men in the days before the Revolution, I find I have to speak up a bit.

Where are those people? The ones who will stand up and be heard? The ones who will write Common Sense and speak their truth.

I read one today. (This is the article that was the impetus to get these fingers typing all these words this morning. I read it in its entirety for the first time this morning.) Bravo to you Mr. Olbermann. I don't usually like those shows where people do all that yelling. In fact, I avoid them. But you sir, yes, you deserve a standing ovation. (Thank you for shouting.)

As I write this, I have to go back to the Founding Fathers' decision to "not deal with" the "slavery issue" when they believed that all men are created equal…but they didn't want to "deal with" the southern states who would not join the union if the "slavery issue" was dealt with. By passing the buck, they, in many ways, created the Civil War. I recognize that we cannot know what would have happened with this newborn country if men like John Adams, George Washington, and Thomas Jefferson had decided to address it. However, what does it mean to consciously pass something this huge onto the next generations?

I can't help but wonder if Bush thinks about these things when he and Rove and Cheney make the decisions they do that affect many generations to come, perhaps more than they affect us now.

I can't help but wonder if they think about the ramifications of their choices at all.

(Another deep breath. I will now resume my quest to send compassion and bring these people to my altar. I will try. I will try.)