morning break {self-portrait challenge}
when i took this picture yesterday, i planned to write about how i am taking a bit of time each morning to drink my tea and walk around the yard to see what is growing, what needs watering, how the hydrangea blooms are doing, and so on. just like my grandmother would do every morning. what she would try to get me to do wtih her when i would visit. it was really nice to do this yesterday. i felt close to her but i also took a minute to just breathe.
but, i didn't do it again today. i didn't walk around the yard with my tea to see what is growing. it didn't even cross my mind to do it.
my current feelings seem to be frazzled, stressed, overwhelmed, annoyed, hurt...the list goes on and on. and it seems that when i most feel this way, i lose sight of the things that would invite me to feel better. i forget i have my own toolbox of how to heal myself.
that is how it goes.
i just keep doing the best i can.
even when the best i can doesn't seem all that great.
i just keep going.
i just keep listening for the little whispers from something greater than me.
i just keep remembering how to love.
and i try again tomorrow.
****
updated in 2011: Self-Portrait Challenge (SPC) was a website that encouraged people to take and share self-portraits. I am sad to report that it no longer has an active website, so I have removed links that appeared in the posts connected to my participation in this project.
liz lamoreux
Reader Comments (5)
the best we can is the best there is at that moment.
hope the summer days ahead will soon take you back into your garden to see the new blooms and enjoy nature's fabulous gifts. i start my day in our gardens and often end the daylight hours there when hubby arrives home from work. it always brings such pleasure to us to sit and talk among the flowers, songbirds, and wildlife. just last week a beautiful fawn and its mother treated us to a surprise as we sat there quietly watching the sun set.
I was anxious to post a pattern picture too :)
Sometimes I forget those morning walks, but make up for it in the afternoon. The plants are trying to get established, though, so they miss me. I return to them like a drug; meeting their weary little faces with the garden hose and a glass of wine. Not tea, at that time of the day.
That's a good ritual to grow with, morning or afternoon :)
You are definitely not alone in confusion. It is odd indeed that when we need that healing most is when we seem to shun it the most. We can not see past the uncomfortable place that we are in.
But you are right, one day at at time, sometimes one moment at a time, because we can only do the best that we can do. Today I tell you that is GOOD enough.
Sending you warmth.
xoxoxo
I appreciate your sharing of your struggles and reminders of this truth b/c sometimes it feels like no matter how much i focus on all i am thankful for, i end up in a funk anyway.....and then i think i am less than lovely writers such as yourself and others i read for inspiration.
thanks for this moment out of your journey, it touched mine.
Great pajamas!
Go easy on yourself. I have felt some similar feelings and sometimes it is easy to try to shake it off too quickly rather than allowing oneself a chance to mend, breath and work through whatever it is... My thoughts are with you.