bringing in ritual: sitting at the table {self-portrait challenge}
This month, I am thinking about the ways I can bring ritual into my life more. Instead of new year’s resolutions, I am honoring the idea that ritual is important to me and inviting it into my life with awareness.
To turn off the day, the rest of the world, and just sit together and eat and talk and share. This is the hope I have for my husband and me. We have spiraled into the habit of sitting in front of the television and eating. When this happens, we don’t talk with one another…about our day…about our dreams…about our relationship. We don’t check in with each other. We just turn off the world by turning on the television. And yes, sometimes, to eat a pizza and watch a movie together on a Friday night is exactly what you need. But, to make dinner, set the table, light candles, pour wine, and sit down together…this is connection. To just move everything to the side and put down a plate and a glass of water and sit across from one another…this is connection.
Tonight, as we sat together, I shared pieces of myself he didn’t know. I shared excitement about a conversation and some things I discovered as I reflected on that conversation. I spoke about some realizations and some memories. And he listened. We were both thankful for this time to just get to know one another more. It felt like exactly what we should be doing. No distractions. Just us.
I want to do this with the meals I eat alone as well. I work from home, so I usually eat breakfast and lunch hunched over my laptop as I work. This means I often don’t eat what is good for me or what my body wants, but I instead eat what is easy and accessible. Last week, I tried to listen to what my body needed for lunch, but I still ate over my computer. I noticed a shift in energy, in a good way, when I filled my body with good stuff. This week, I am going to try to eat at the table, taking a break from my work.
Sitting at the table. Noticing taste, texture, smells, colors. Paying attention. Being present to this necessary task. Being open to connection with another or connection with myself. Inviting awareness in once again. Inviting in the ritual of sitting at the table and eating.
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Reader Comments (18)
What a simple, but important resolution. I have to really work to do that with my daughter. I grew up in a family that ate at the table - but after living alone so long turned into a tv tray diner.
There's something so heartwarming about gathering around the table with loved ones to share a meal. One of life's great pleasures.
i hear you, my fellow ritual~honouring sister.
and i have excitement in my belly at conversations. :)
xoxo
p.s. thank you for reminding me about the eating/connecting. i miss holidays, and i think what i miss about them is the connection, gentle quietness and sharing with my lover. oh my, he is amazing.
i recognise that table :-) this sounds wonderful, love. i know the nightmare of working from home - i've started eating away from my desk to let my eyes, hands and most of all, brain, rest for half an hour - it's helping! xo
The picture is so beautiful- the lighting really pulled me in-the table-the flowers the wine all of it. What a delightful way to connect at the end of your day apart.
A few months ago we started sitting down for dinner together-the three of us. We had fallen into the same habits you mention here.
In the beginning it was hard not to get caught up in that sometimes it was awkward to sit and talk when we were so used to zoning out-but it has become a ritual and comfortable and comforting.
We definitely have gotten to know eachother better:)
I miss you
Maybe we will get to chat this week:)
XOXOXO
this is wonderful and we are SO bad about eating our dinners, not talking.....passing each other as we change shifts. Thank you for a reminder here. xo
You're so right, Liz. Sitting down to a nice dinner, with candles and all, and talking, that does make connections. When I was a kid we sat down to dinner together every night. Jim and I often read or watch TV when we eat, since we're home together all day working, but to sit down at the table and just talk, that's a very nice thing.
Hubby and I have a terrible problem with eating in front of the TV- I dunno, our couch is just so comfortable compared to our dining room set.
I guess what I like about it is that we can snuggle up, have our toes touch, feed each other... that's something we can't do with our proper eating arrangements!
Having said that, I agree wholeheartedly that being face to face with your loved one after a long day away from each other is just about the best thing there is... and to make it really special with a gracious table- what could be better!
Thank you, Liz, for always inviting me to live my life to the fullest...
Great idea. My mom will love this post. We are always trying to SIT at the table more often ;)
So, so on the mark, Liz. Eating with intention is so important and the ritual of sharing food is fundamental to connections.
Good for you.
Blessings and thanks.
This brought me to a place and perspective that I am sorely in need of right now. Thank you for your wise reflections Liz.
xoxoxo
This is a resolution I bet a lot of people could stand to make, me included. Lovely post, Liz, and I really like the moody lighting of the photo.
This is something I have been trying to do more with my husband and little one, it is such an important ritual to follow I think. I love how rituals can meld into the family and become practices that draw each other closer, or can become traditions that can be carried through generations.
What other types of rituals do you hope to start/follow?
When I was growing up, my father made me shut off the TV and sit at the table to eat every meal with the family. I used to be pissed having to shut off my favorite program in the middle (in the days before Tivo). Now, I usually watch TV with Sophia while eating dinner. Rather than a step forward, it seems like a step backwards.
yes, yes, yes! you have reminded me of the importance of rituals, especially in a family. I will sit and eat and be more present too...
I work from home as well. I hardly ever eat at the table. In the mornings and during lunch I watch the news or something. Or check my mail. You´ve inspired me to challenge myself to be more present too!!
Sophie
I love the idea. If I were you, I would go even further and get rid of the TV altogether, but maybe that's a bit radical to start off with! Take it one step at a time! I love the photo too!
Vanessa
Great resolution. Really classy picture! Well done!
My husband and I have always made a point of eating together at the table - no TV, just us and whatever conversation we have to offer. In our four years of marriage this routine has grown. We have purchased some tablecloths and we have placemats as well. We have cloth napkins and sometimes there is candlelight. Some times we even turn on some background music like big band or Ella Fitzgerald or jazz - something soothing. We also bless the meal - which sometimes turns into more than just grace but something beautiful as we acknowledge God together... There are so many possibilities before you...