a few things from this week’s “good morning monday” list…on a tuesday evening…
enjoying
many mugs of genmai-cha tea
bringing true honesty to conversations with friends (speaking my truth…really doing it…i am vibrating with happiness about how free i feel)
time spent with friends over the weekend: laughing, talking, eating, and playing a delightfully hilarious game of cranium.
a house that is pretty clean (still, even after three days since we cleaned)
thinking about
jerri’s invitation to the blogging community to participate in a tonglen meditation this saturday. it is a meditation to send healing and compassion to mark (darlene’s son and denise’s nephew) and his family. for more details, check out this post.
a package that came in the mail from my mother yesterday. over christmas, she and my brother visited my grandfather. she asked me if there was anything i wanted in the house as my grandfather was asking. i said something along the lines of realizing that what I had wanted, a piece of clothing of my grandmother’s, was long gone. my mom said, “no, we didn’t get rid of all the clothing.” “is the grey sweatshirt with the chickadees still there?” “yes, i think so.” when you miss someone, you don’t really want the random tea set you never even saw that the person kept in the china closet. it is nice to have. but when you deeply miss the person, at least in my experience, you want something that really represents the person to you. and this sweatshirt, one my brother and i gave her for christmas years ago, is that. her. my mom sent the sweatshirt and some other articles of clothing. as i unpacked the box, there was this blue windbreaker. i gasped. i had forgotten it. i said aloud, “my grandmother lives in this.” jon looked up from across the room. “my grandmother lives in this,” i said again. puttering in the yard, feeding the ducks at the lake, walking together on the beach, sitting outside in the fresh air. she did all these things in this windbreaker. i touch it and i touch her. i touch her.
singing
“proud mary”—tina’s version—loud. while dancing. all around my house. repeat.
all the songs from paul simon’s album graceland. all afternoon and evening i listened to these songs as i worked, cooked, twirled, ate dinner, blogged, chatted, twirled some more.
loving
moments when my husband just settles in and enjoys himself.
moments when i know. this is the path. this is the path. this is the path.
liz lamoreux
Reader Comments (9)
i am so happy for you...to have something of your grandmothers must be incredible. how loverly. the smell, the touch, the memories...i'm just happy for you.
and glad to see that you're having a good day, loverly one.
XO
Oh, yes... I have a few clothing items like this, of my grandpa's. A hat he wore outside on his walks and in his garden...Right now I can see his smiling face in it, as I tell you. :) Shirts. A scarf... They mean a lot to me. I am so happy you got the chance to recieve these gifts from her, Liz. :)
I listen to Graceland all the time! I have for years and years. Now my kids are starting to learn the words. When they were babies, I sang to "Josephs face was as black as night, and the pale yellow moon shone in his eyes..." Quietly, rocking in the dark.
Thanks for making me smile before bed, here.
:)
Lovely.
This IS the path, Liz. So much fun to hear about the details as you walk it.
Lovely.
Diamonds on the Soles of Her Shoes was my daughter's first "favorite song." We listened to Graceland over and over through her childhood, and that song stuck with her for years and years. Me too.
Downloaded some Ladysmith Black Mambazo the other day and still love the sounds and rhythms of their music. Better with Paul, though.
I know what you mean about this--just randomly on Saturday, my father was talking about "what we'd all want" when he passed away. (He's not in poor health, but our relationship is very complex and broken in many ways). I told him I already had the one thing I'd have wanted...which are the letters he wrote to my mother when he was in the Navy before they married. He said, "Oh, those aren't worth anything." But--Oh, how wrong he is...I get the chance to study my father's mind when he was a young man still so full of hopes and dreams. He "lives in" those letters in a way he hasn't been able to in life...I hope you wear your grandmother's windbreaker and go outside to putter in a garden, walk on the beach, and feed ducks at a lake. Just beautiful.
Love,
D.
I love this post too!
Thank you for the link to the group meditation for Mark... I'll be joining you all on Saturday (8pm here in Dublin!).
Vanessa
such peace in your words...
and beauty in the
touching of the windbreaker...
beautiful words...
:)
this is the path ~
this is the path ~
this is the path.
ho to this :)
I love that you have your grandmother's clothing, I love that you have her windbreaker. This is a hopeful and beautiful post.
When I read about your grandma's windbreaker tears came to my eyes. That's beautiful.