a letter
dear morning pages,
i know you are good for me. i know i should love you. i know you help me. when i spend time with you, i solve a few problems of the world. you open my eyes to new ideas. about me, about life, about my past, about my future. i start to get ideas for things: books, projects, stories, things i want to create. i know. you do all these things. you turn me inside out some days. and this can be a really good thing. you even invite “aha!” moments. yes, i know your power.
but right now. well, right now i am just raging against you. those are the words that run through my head whenever i see you and know it is time. i rage again the morning pages. yes. i rage against you. i don’t like you. i want you to go away. i can’t believe that i agreed to come back to you again. i can’t believe it. i know our relationship has, at times, been love-hate. but this time. well, this time i am not loving you at all. nope.
because, you see, i know your tricks. how you suck me in. how i tell myself i am only going to write one page but you tempt me with the truth and creativity and suddenly i am at the top of page four and realize what you have done. you will not seduce me this time. you will not prove yourself to be a tool i cannot live without.
oh no you won’t!
you won’t get me. i see you for what you are. i see you for all your messiness and truthiness and boldness and silliness and all that you can give me. i see it.
told you didn’t i?
and just you wait, when i open up my notebook again tonight, you will hear it all again.
sincerely,
someone who is super, super annoyed with you
(i am working through the artist’s way with my friend heather. her first time. my third. of course the first two times i didn’t get through the whole thing. last time i mostly loved the morning pages even though i didn’t do them every day. this time. this time i am raging against them. and we are just starting week two. i think the MPs are getting the first wave of me speaking my truth. good thing they don’t have any feelings.)
liz lamoreux
Reader Comments (18)
I tried doing the morning pages thing and they just laughed at me, and so I had to ignore them. I hope you do better.
oops, that was me above...violetismycolor, aka diane...http://valentinois.typepad.com
oh, how i feel your pain.
i've always wanted to work the artist's way, but haven't found anyone whose willing to do so. I think you're onto something though......xo
:)
i love the peevishness of your truth,
it is very becoming...
heehee.
and good for you for working
it through again...i'm thinking
about trying one of julia cameron's
other books since i did artist
way last january...
:) my husband and i are just finishing week one and i am experiencing my own love/hate relationship with those stare me in the face every morning pages ...
love this post!!
heehee...i've been there...
ha ha ha...i suck at morning pages. mostly because i suck at mornings.
keep up the good work.
xo
ah - you know you love 'em really ;-)
If you don't mind, could you send that letter to MY morning pages too?
this is so...kismet, once again with you, liz.
i was actually wondering what morning pages actually ARE, and wanting to do them, because i want to start writing every day. so...um...what are they? and why do you hate them?
;)
thanks. love you.
Liz...Your writing is so amazing....in fact! YOU are amazing! :-)
Hate them all you want to, Liz...but don't stop yet. I found that I broke through at about week four (I'm slow, what can I say?) and I still do morning pages just about every morning of my life in the five years since I worked the Artist's Way!!! Good luck...
--D.--
Love your truthiness.
The idea of morning pages appeals to me, and I try to do them sometimes. But my brain isn't awake in the mornings and I'm not sure I want to hear what my insides have to say when I'm in that vulnerable state. It's a little scary. So, I understand your resistance.
I knew the morning pages came from the artists way....as I started reading this post. A few lines in it hit me-I think I am ready to try to work through it again.
Then I got to the bottom and felt a surge-I would love to read it with you.
But you have already started so I will just blab here and there as I work through it.
I am nodding over here to all you are saying girl.
Yumminess!
i've been doing daily pages for just over a month now, though not strictly keeping within the guidelines in the artist's way. i find myself continually struggling with them so it's great to read of others experiences with them. i am sitting down to read the artist's way today and try to do them in the recommended way. perhaps i will find it less frustrating!
I hope you don't stop writing your morning pages just because you're pissed off at them. I think that's the whole point. I just bought the Artist's Way this week and I'll be starting the course on Monday. Eek!
Don't give up!
Good luck!