snow and pizza (the story of today)

This was going to be a post about the stew and soup I made this weekend (both really really good), but then we had this delightful day that included playing in the snow and making pizza and dancing in the kitchen and coloring and lots of toddler giggles as snow continued to fall outside, so I am sharing this story + recipe instead.*

(More than Just a) Simple Pizza: A Cooking Experience

Before you begin to make this simple pizza, set the scene. Having music on is a very good thing. (Current favorite is radioIO Acoustic Café using the Pocket Tunes App for ipod/iphone.) Then have your family nearby so you are reminded that you are making this meal for people you love. Of course, being totally solo in the kitchen singing along with Adele is an equally delicious way to approach this meal, and since this pizza isn't huge, it would be perfect for dinner for one and then lunch the next day. 

Then, take premade pizza dough from the fridge, remove it from the bag, and let it sit for 20 minutes on a floured surface. (My friend Christine recently mentioned that Trader Joe’s has a great pizza dough in their refrigerated section, so we tried it today. It is awesome! Your local store should have Pillsbury or another brand near the pre-made cookie dough if you don't have Trader Joe's nearby.)

Preheat oven to 450.

Next, gather your toppings. Cut up your veggies; then find the cheese you want to use and put it in a pretty bowl just because it makes you happy. When someone says, “We are going to have more cheese than that, right?” you can reassure him that yes, we will but this bowl looks pretty for photos. 

At this point you might realize you have 12 minutes until your 20 minutes are up. Here are some options:

a) Dance with your family in the kitchen to a song or two.
b) Fill one more grocery sack with items from your cabinet full of too many glasses and put on the porch to take to Goodwill.
c) Give your one year old her very first orange pepper slice and then proceed to feed her about 10 more pieces because she keeps saying, “good!”
d) Begin to clear the table of all your beading supplies so you can sit at it to eat.
e) All the above (as you realize 12 minutes is much longer than you think).
f) Make a quick salad that would pair nicely with pizza and give you more greens. (Next time. Yes. Next time)

Now you are ready to roll out the dough onto a floured surface. It is a good idea to let go of having a round pizza, especially if the surface you are using is rectangular. (And when you cook it, it somehow finds its way to being mostly round. Of course, later I thought about how I would roll it out on the pizza stone next time. Ahem.) And if someone stronger than you is around and offers to roll it for you, well, say yes. (It wasn’t that hard though and reminded me of standing at the window at Noble Romans watching teenagers make pizza decades ago.)

(Now this next step is one you should insert up there right before “dance with your family,” but when it comes at this point instead, give yourself permission to roll with it.) Next, remember that you have chicken sausage in the fridge that you want to add to the pizza. 

Cook the sausage if you are adding it. If someone else is cooking it (thanks Jonny), you might be able to wire-wrap 10 beads and dance with your daughter.

Next, put pizza dough on a pizza stone if you have one (if not, use a pan). Then, assemble your pizza. I layered as follows: olive oil, thin layer of cheese, mushrooms and orange pepper and small bits of chicken sausage, then lots of cheese.

Bake for 8-12 minutes. You know it’s done when the bottom of the dough is browning. I baked ours for about 15 minutes though and it was perfect, so do adjust the time based on your oven and dough thickness.

When you take it out, gather your family to oooh and ahhh at the pizza’s beauty.

Take a few photos.

Eat.

Have toys on hand for your toddler to play with when she decides she is full from all the pepper slices and won’t eat while you are eating. She can color or build things and you will be much more likely to enjoy your pizza if she is content.

Because this is a food that Ellie eats and since it really was so easy to use this dough (and felt really satisfying to roll it out and even has me thinking about making my own dough), I imagine making pizza a few times a month and sometimes making it for the two of us for lunch during the week (EJ and I are more likely to do no meat, less cheese, more veggies). So, this means, I am totally creating a pizza Pinterest board to save recipes I want to print out and add to my recipe binder. Just started using the binder because I am learning that I simply need that “oh right, I could make pizza this week” reminder that seeing a recipe in a binder gives me.

An invitation: I would love to know your favorite homemade pizza toppings/recipes. Please share them in the comments.

*The story behind the story: In some ways, this is the most important paragraph of this blog post, so I hope you made it to here. In the past few months, there haven’t been a lot of days that could be described like the romantic “wow, aren’t they lucky?” paragraph that begins this blog post. There are moments of beauty and love each day, but there have also been some of the toughest moments Jon and I have experienced as a couple. Today, as I wrote this post, I kept thinking about how the slight changes I have been making as I continue to focus on leaning into whole(ness) have been creating space for more laughter, for listening, for sharing (because we are talking with one another when we sit at the table), and for intimacy as we work together in the kitchen or as he talks to me while I cook or as we read or work together after she goes to bed (or naps) because we just want to continue to be together and not turn the television on. 

*****

Here is a simple version of this recipe in case you have a binder like me and would like to print it out.

The "Anyone (this means you too) Can Use Premade Dough" Pizza

Ingredients:

Premade refrigerated pizza dough (I used Trader Joe’s)
Veggie toppings of choice
Meat toppings of choice (I used Trader Joe’s breakfast chicken sausage)
Cheese of choice (I used pre-shredded mozzarella from Trader Joe’s)
Olive oil (I used Annie’s infused with basil)

Steps: 

1. Preheat oven to 450 degrees. UPDATE: I now heat our oven to 500 so it takes less time.
2. Take dough out of packaging and let sit 20 minutes on floured surface.
3. Chop veggies, cook meat if applicable, grate/slice cheese as needed.
4. Roll pizza dough into a round(ish) shape, continuing to keep surface floured to avoid sticking (it’s a good idea to follow directions on your dough’s packaging).
5. Spread olive oil over dough.
6. Add toppings of choice (keeping to thin layers to avoid weighting down the dough)
7. Bake for 8-12 minutes (longer as needed depending on oven/dough thickness). 

a journal (a post in moving pictures)

Today, I spent some time working in my "Smash" journal, and I began to get so excited about it that I decided to create a little video explaining how I am using it to hold myself accountable this year when it comes to living from wholeness, my intentions for my blog, practicing self-care, and making my big dreams a reality.

In the video I mention:

The Smash journal and all the fun accessories you can buy like the tabs and pockets  

My habit of buying these Moleskine journals (I love them and still use them for various things but not for my idea journal. I think they simply blend into my home too much because they are so skinny. But they are perfect for one project or taking notes. And here is the truth: I could turn any of my journals into something similar to how I am using the Smash book BUT I don't have time, and waiting for that time was stopping me from putting pen to paper.)

Jen Lee's way of journaling (I couldn't find a post on her blog about it [I will ask her if she has one], but I did remember this story from Karen Walrond about her conversation with Jen about journaling)

My business coach Nona Jordan

Mondo Beyondo

My post on Roots of She about how this year might unfold if I leaned into wholeness, my post about nourishing myself and family through cooking more, and my post about showing up as me and telling more stories here on my blog

Oh and I am totally wearing the simple "Pigtails" necklace. How she makes me smile! I am working on telling the story of how the one word . one girl collaboration with Kelly was born and will be sharing soon. 

I would love to hear about the way you journal. Do you have one notebook? Do you keep track of your ideas in one place? Do you "hold yourself accountable" when it comes to your dreams? 

PS While browsing the Smash website tonight, I discovered that they have a YouTube channel with short videos with a glimpse inside each of the various journals (because they all have different papers/graphics).

show up as me

At the beginning of my Create Space ecourse, I ask the students to claim an intention for themselves as they begin. I practice this with them, and in the Fall class, my intention was "show up as me." This weekend, I have been thinking about what I wrote about this intention: 

This is my intention because, at times, I can get so distracted by my whirling mind and the shoulds and the "who does she think she is" gremlins and wishing for more time and the comparisons to others and how the list goes on. Knowing these things about me has gently pushed me to focus on just showing up as me and trusting myself more as I do this. 

I have been thinking about these words because I have been thinking about how really leaning into wholeness might affect my blog and how I blog. When I come to this space, I do show up as me. However, as I wrote above, sometimes those whirling thoughts of "who does she thinks she is" and the comparisons come up, and I don't always tell the stories here that I long to tell.

And there are some stories I long to tell:

I want to talk more about poetry. Some of you might remember that I used to post about poetry every Thursday when I co-led a poetry community a few years ago. When that project ended, I didn't post about poetry as often for a lot of reasons that I can't even remember now. Starting this week, there will be more poetry.

I want to tell you more about the experience of writing Inner Excavation. I want to share thoughts on how it has really been to have a real live book on a shelf in bookstores and tell the truth about how my book shipping from Amazon on the same day my daughter had open-heart surgery has affected my entire experience with "the real live book."

I want to tell you more about Ellie and my world as a mama. For some reason I have worried that people will come here and think "oh how quaint, she blogs all about her kid now" and miss the whole point. But really, I long to tell you more about our days and about a few things concerning her health and share some things I have learned about having a child with "an illness." I really want to talk about my experience of letting go of how you think it is supposed to be or how you thought you would be as a parent, especially when your daughter's cardiologist says things like, "it is time to let her have milkshakes and french fries" because getting weight on her and her keeping it on is more important than the shame of not being one of those "natural mamas" you hoped you might become. (And then there is the whole "yes, she has plastic toys" shame and the "she watches Mickey Mouse Clubhouse because it always gets rid of her grumps" shame...oh how I want to invite all of us to let go of this shame.)

I want to tell you about how incredible and somewhat wacky it was to experience such growth in my Etsy business, host five retreats, begin to write a series of articles for a magazine, teach two online classes, and begin some incredible projects all while being a work at home mom in 2011. (I think I can only talk about it now that I am on the other side and saw that it was possible. But oh my goodness there were times that I thought I was drowning yet I kept going and learned this: I always get it all done, especially when I take time to rest.)

I want to talk more about the Be Present Retreats and share photos and stories from participants about what happens at the retreats and their experiences. I want to tell you about how leading and teaching at these retreats has invited me to realize I am truly at home when I do this work.

I want to go on more self-portrait adventures and encourage you to do the same. I want to share more about self-portraits and why I feel they are such a beautiful way to feel deeply seen.

I want to talk more about how I am trying to push myself to come from a place of compassion when I realize I am having a "knee-jerk" reaction to something or someone.

I want to share more about how I wish we would all let go of whispering "who does she think she is?" and instead stand tall in the truth of who we are.

Yes, there is so much I want to share, and this list feels like it is just the beginning.

Thank you for coming along...

nourish . leaning into whole(ness)

words gathered in the studio 

As I hammer words into metal, I can't help but think about the meaning behind each one and wonder a bit about why each person was drawn to the word and what it means to them. Some of the words stick with me and become part of my own practice.

Yesterday, I spent some time journaling about my word of the year (whole) and how I want to live from wholeness this month. One theme that keeps coming up is wanting to feel like I am nourishing my body and my family by cooking. I love to cook and I love to eat what I cook, but I haven't cooked much during the last few years. But during the week of Thanksgiving, I was moved to look through a few cookbooks and print out some of Tracy's fall recipes. And I cooked. (hello beef stew. hello roasted butternut squash + apples + potatoes + cranberries.) And it was awesome. And I can't stop thinking about how much I enjoyed cooking while Jon and Ellie and Millie played and talked to me.

As I look to this year, I want to continue to spend time making things from scratch (or from kinda scratch with the help of Trader Joe's) and sit at the table with my little family (or by myself while Ellie naps) and take the time to practice this important piece of self-care (and family care).

But I know that I am going to need to really push myself to do this. So I am writing about it here in the hopes of checking in and maybe getting some support from you about how you do it.

Here are a few of the things I am doing to get started:

1) I reorganized my studio so that my packaging and shipping station is now in the studio and not on the kitchen table.

2) I am choosing one cookbook to really sink into for a bit, and I'm starting with The Barefoot Contessa at Home. I have enjoyed cooking her recipes in the past, and now that I have a Cuisinart (Christmas gift), I feel ready to tackle some of I have looked at with longing in the past.

3) I am asking for help. My mom is visiting later this month and we are going to spend some time talking about what she cooks (she and Steve cook together every night) and put together some "go to" recipes for me. (Does this mean I get to buy a new binder? I hope so.) We are also going to work on making the kitchen a bit more user friendly. Today, we had a long talk about the shifts I want to make with cooking and living in the house I've always dreamed of (meaning a lot less clutter), and I am feeling deeply supported by her and really look forward to her visit. And then my friend Jen is planning to visit next week, and I asked her if we could cook while she is here. (She is a great cook who always uses yummy fresh ingredients and I know I can learn a lot from her.)

4) For Christmas, I gave my dad Molly Wizenberg's book A Homemade Life. I love this book so much, and while reading it a few years ago, I kept thinking about how parts of it were such a beautiful love letter to her dad. I asked my dad if he wanted to read it together and cook recipes from the book with me...kind of like a year-long book/cooking club. This is the first time I have asked him to do anything like this, and I think it will be a really neat way for us to connect across the miles. I am hoping there might even be a meal or two shared via Skype but that might be a little too modern for him (insert big smile here).

5) My mom gave Ellie a little toddler play kitchen for Christmas. It is really fantastic and the perfect size for her. I love that she will be able to begin to imitate me (and Jon) cooking or just enjoy stacking her blocks in the play oven while I cook. I am also thinking about investing in something like this toddler stool with sides. I know it is oh my goodness expensive, but I can't help but think that it would be so awesome for Ellie to be safe while at the kitchen counter playing or coloring or helping me as she gets a bit older. (Hey moms, do you/did you have something like it?)

6) I created a "the year of cooking" pinboard over on Pinterest where I am pinning photos connected to links to recipes I find at sites like Shutterbean and Orangette and Smitten Kitchen and my tried and true favorite Betty Crocker. And I am finding that so many other people have recipe pinboards too so I am checking those out. This feels really motivating because it is such fun to have the visuals of all the possibility that awaits. 

As I think about this year of leaning into whole(ness), I am trying to stay really open to the truth that I choose...each day...I choose. And I do hope to check in about this often...maybe there will even be some recipe posts coming up as I learn and eat and nourish.