toast with an egg in the middle

Imagine you find yourself alone in your kitchen.

Alone with a silent house and no one needs you for the next two hours. (No one needs you. Seriously. This moment is just for you.)

And you are hungry.

And you remember that you want to attempt the "toast with an egg in the middle" dish you ate for breakfast in Portland on Saturday. Or rather you watched your daughter eat because suddenly she was hungry and wanted everything on your plate.

So you get to it.

Step 1: Gather a piece of bread + butter + an egg. And decide to practice with your 50mm lens and put the egg in a dish

Step 2: Use a juice glass to "cut" a hole in the middle of the bread. (Consider first beginning to melt the butter mentioned in Step 3 if you aren't stopping to take photos.)

Step 3: Warm up your pan over medium heat and begin to melt a good amount of butter. (The butter really seems to be the key.) After the butter melts, put the bread in and turn it over so both sides are covered with at least some butter.

Step 4: Crack that egg and put it right in the middle of the bread.

Step 5: While the egg cooks, pour yourself a cup of coffee in your new favorite mug.

Step 6: When the egg settles in the middle, flip it over and marvel at the fact that you didn't burn side one. 

Step 7: Add your little circle from the middle of the bread and let it cook while side two cooks for just a minute or two.

Step 8: Scoop that egg out of the pan, put it on your new favorite plate, and set the table while the little circle of bread cooks for another minute. (Consider how much easier it would be to just add the circle at the beginning and decide to do that next time.)

Step 9: Grab a favorite book of poetry on your way to the table and take a moment to breathe in all the joy of these colors and the quiet and this time just for you.

Step 10: Eat it up. (And maybe even find yourself right in the middle of a poem that takes your breath away and reminds you of why you know "poeming it out" will save you again and again. Yes.)

What have you been cooking lately? I'm having some fun in the kitchen again and would love to know.

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what do you need?

It was a "get out of the house and into the fresh air or the grumps might take over the day" kind of morning over here.

So we bundled up and went to the park. And Ellie loved running around and going down the slide with her daddy.

And oh my gosh I love this photo. I love this real moment of Ellie's bravery when she climbed up to this tall slide and then looked at me and said "I'm scared." So her daddy climbed right up next to her so they could slide down together. Even though he groaned and mumbled as he tried to figure out how to fold down to join her, he did it anyway. And she cheered, "I did it!" when they got to the bottom. 

If I hadn't listened to what we all needed this morning, we might have missed it.

The days are full over here. This holiday season has me working like a little elf as my shop is the busiest it has ever been. (I'm deeply grateful for this.) I'm trying to be present to the holidays and this time of year with my family. As I move through the day, it can feel intense and awesome and beautiful and so damn hard at times.

I'm gently encouraging myself to try to let go of the expectations of this time of year. But goodness how they just hang there waiting for you to notice them, don't they?

In the midst of it all, I'm giving myself some space to notice what I need.

 Sometimes this means closing my eyes while taking one deep breath and saying quietly, "What do you need kid?" And then allowing for space to listen to the answer.

Yesterday that answer was 10 minutes of rest while Ellie napped.

Late last night that answer was a promise to myself that I need a vacation in early 2013.

This morning the answer was to get outside away from work and have an hour of play with my family at the park and then to Starbucks for treats.

In this moment, my answer is a big glass of water and music I love.

What do you need today?

It's okay to be honest with yourself.
It's okay to speak it aloud.
It's okay to let your loved ones know.
It's okay to rest, to dance, to ask for an hour alone, to ask for a hug, to say "no."

Yes. It's okay to do all of this and more for you to help you feel supported and present this time of year.

If you need someone to catch your answer today, feel free to share in the comments or email me.

Blessings,
Liz 

*****

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joy seeker (april)

april 14, 2012

When I think about this day we had with Grandma and Grandpa on Lake Superior, I can still hear your laughter. Actually, you would probably be happy to play on this beach every day, learning more about the ways sand moves when you sink different rocks and sticks and other bits found on the beach into it. And then Grandma taught you how to throw rocks into the water. The look of absolute delight on your face each time you discovered something new was contagious. I can't remember the last time I laughed so much with Grandma. Thank you for sharing your joyful light with all of us. (I am so lucky to know you.)

***

the series "joy seeker" is one way i am documenting the "joy" superhero power that ellie jane has. i am gathering a photo + short story each month from her first to second birthday and sharing a few of them here on the blog. i plan put them all together and have them printed in a small book this summer.

she had a really (really) good day

march 22

as we stood below blue in the crisp air, she handed them to me one at a time. we talked about how i used to do the same thing with my grandmother. when we went inside, i put them in the tiniest vase i could find that rests on the windowsill above the sink.

later, as i looked at them while making a cup of tea, i kept thinking about how living fills the cracks missing creates.