warrior {self portrait challenge}

I am a woman on a journey of healing. And as I heal, I grieve, laugh, sing, dance, cry, giggle, roar, open my heart, let go, dance again, chant, paint, howl, sob, yell, sit in the quiet, write, bend, stretch, move, let go again, write some more, and allow myself to crack open.

I am finding the warrior within. There is only one real battle: to be the warrior who can live in her life. Live. In. Her. Life. I stand tall with my heart open, my head high, my feet planted firmly beneath me. I feel the strength in my body, in my heart, in my mind, in my soul. I take a breath. I feel the energy within me as it radiates from my fingertips to the ones who passed before me and walk beside me, from my eyes to the future in front of me, from my shoulder blades to the world that is around me, down my legs and through my feet into the earth below me, and from my heart to you.

You are finding the warrior within. I am not alone on my journey; you are there with me. You are learning how to stretch and stand tall with your feet beneath you. You are feeling the power of the front of your body open to the world around you. You are allowing your heart to crack open with each breath. Each inhale cracks your heart open a little more. Again. Again.

We are side by side on this journey. We are learning how to heal, how to find the joy, how to rock gently in the pain, how to throw our heads back with laughter, how to let go. We are standing tall as warriors. And I believe that we are in the midst of a movement. A movement that is going to change us all as we change the world.

I am a woman on a journey. And I am not alone.

(For Denise who gave me a little homework assignment that inspired this. Thank you my friend.)

See others who are taking the self portrait challenge here.

brave {self portrait challenge}

some brave dreams...

to swim with the humpback whales
to write a book and send it off in a package to a publisher who will say yes
to have a child
to spend a month in paris
to live in italy
to move to maui to be closer to the whales
to sing and dance on broadway
to get a tatoo
to be a back-up singer for james taylor
to write more poetry and then one day to read it to others
to forgive a bit more
to help others know they are not alone
to own my own sexiness
to remember that i am only in charge of myself
to own the joy i feel as i put paint, glue, color, crayon, ink, tape, and other stuff to a blank canvas
to rescue another dog
to go back to school and get a masters degree
to let go of more guilt
to read more books
to take a road trip by myself
to own that i cannot save everyone and do all that is asked of me
to remind myself of who i am in those moments when i forget
to worry less about money
to listen to my heart more and follow what it tells me
to climb a tree
to manifest more peace
to learn to speak a foreign language fluently
to have more faith in myself
to love, for the rest of my life, the man i was looking at as i took this picture

{this was a prompt from Sabrina Ward Harrison's book The Truth and the Questions Journal.}

a quest {self portrait challenge}

I am on woman on a quest...
and I am seeking this little girl
who danced
and posed in front of the camera
without a care in the world
she didn't worry about
appearances,
the size of her thighs,
her mismatched barrettes,
letting people down,
not being enough,
not living a full, big, deep life.
She dreamed
huge, fun, crazy dreams.
And believed that she
could do anything she put set her mind and heart to do.
Anything.

And as I search for her
I am beginning to realize
she has been living in me all along.
She is already home.

open eyes {self portrait challenge}

This month's self portrait challenge is to introduce yourself. I do that in almost every post I think. So for this month's challenge, I am simply going to share what comes to me on the day when I decide to post.

Who am I?

I am a woman on the cusp of her thirties who is trying to make a difference in the world. I am a woman trying to heal and grow through the pains of this life. I am a woman learning to love who I am, even when I have trouble seeing the positives. I am a woman trying to be authentic even when it seems easier to be someone else. I am a woman searching for meaning in the midst of...well...in the midst of the crap.

Yes. In the midst of the crap. There is so much that gets thrown at us in this world. The many things to think about and worry about and fear and focus on instead of the real stuff. These things that sidetrack us and numb us and we become a bit crazy about...all the crap.

I am a woman trying to wipe my windshield clean of the crap. This is who I am. I clean it. The next time I turn around it is full again. Wipe. See clearly for a moment. Can't see. Wipe again. Repeat.

If you find that this is part of who you are, don't despair. What I have realized is that most people simply think they can see through the crap.

They. do. not. even. realize. it. is. there.

If you do...well, half the battle is really over because you are living with your eyes open. And we can do this together. Live with open eyes. And just keep wiping off the crap.

{SPT} the me who accepts your invitation

Invitations I usually accept:
guilt, to be "the responsible one," to do a favor I don't have time for, the ringing of the phone (even if it is not a good time), to fix someone's problems, guilt, the words of my inner critic, to meet unreachable expectations, sadness, to hide who I truly am, to sit in the back of the room, to stop asking questions, to whisper instead of speak loudly, to be the good girl, to walk instead of dance, guilt, guilt, guilt...

But this month, another invitation has come my way.
The invitation to embrace and accept all of me.
I extend this invitation to others every time I teach yoga, yet I could not find a way to extend it to me.
And then this month, this invitation arrived in the guise of magical words , images, and art by amazing women and the brave creatures who posted SPTs.

Thank you. Please accept my RSVP. I will attend this acceptance of myself as I embrace all of who I am. The faults, the ugly bits, the beauty, the grace, the fears, the joys, and yes, even the feelings of guilt.

Check out other SPT all of me posts at Self Portrait Tuesday.