i choose: happiness
a few things making me happy this evening...
1. i visited gypsy girl's guide this weekend (alex, the gypsy girl herself, is on maternity leave as she just had her little one) and i mused about the idea of self-portraits and shared a few things that make me feel strong and brave and beautiful.
2. a "new to me" polaroid spectra camera is bringing a smile to my face. i have taken one of the three photos it still had in it when it arrived (and the photo was a good one!). i can't wait to learn more about the spectra and polaroids and lighting needed when taking a polaroid from maddie when she teaches at Reveal in less than two weeks. (and yes, the rumors are true, there are still a couple of spots left at this retreat. if you are reading this and suddenly have that oh my goodness i must check airline prices right now feeling...well, i hope you will as i would really love to see you [and, as a perk, you will get to meet this person AND hang out with this person who will be looking after the aforementioned little one]).
3. i am so thrilled to be a guest during one of the week's of jenna's fantastic e-course Alchemy: A Writing Course for Creative Souls. i have had some sneak peeks of this course, and to put it simply, it is going to be a very good thing. no way around it. i hope you will join jenna for so much goodness this october.
4. spent a bit of time doing a little etsy window shopping where i found (oh how i adore) this, (oh the blue!) this, and (oh i think i need) this.
5. watching ellie have a full conversation with the octopus that hangs from her activity mat thingamabob was a highlight of this weekend. seriously. that girl loves to talk. i am convinced that she says "hi" and "yes" but the others words i am not quite getting yet.
6. the little "one word" lockets i mentioned in my last post are now in the shop. i made myself my own "joy" simple locket as a much needed reminder.
7. yesterday afternoon was spent with my dear friend deb who gently held my words and shared pieces of her own story and her wisdom while we dined together and had some mighty tasty margaritas. in this moment, i am smiling just thinking about our time together. (thank you girl)
8. oh and your preorders of my book...well...seeing them pop into my inbox is really making me grin. thank you. i simply cannot wait for you to read Inner Excavation!
*****
i have admit that today was filled with quite a bit of wallowing. i got bogged down by feelings of disappointment and less than and who do i think i am and fear and hurt feelings. i chose to close the laptop and take a break from all that stuff and focus instead on creating and watching the rain fall and seeking out the peeks of blue sky and listening to ellie coo and sharing a long hug with my husband. but how i wanted to wallow. still, i pushed myself (while kicking and screaming in my head). i pushed myself to seek out the goodness and the beauty and found my way to standing inside moments of happiness.
i choose in make a list.
Reader Comments (9)
Very good things here.
I know that you didn't ask, and I know that we all must own up to what we feel - but can I just say that with the little peeks that you offer, I see from a distance that you are: warm, funny, wise, brave, an author (girl, your name on your work, packaged into a book?! ) a creator of beautiful things (poetry, jewelery, bags, aprons, retreats!!) - things that make other people's lives brighter, you are a mother :)
I know that right now your road is a mix of good and scary. But I also see you trying so hard to focus on the good. - You are walking through a mix of it - and I often think of you and your husband and your little baby, with the most positive of thoughts.
But as a woman, as a kind of friend, I have to say (even if you didn't ask!) YOU are not less than. No. Not ever. You are doing the best you can - and you are ENOUGH. I will hold that feeling for you - as well as the space you've asked for before. ~Wishing you a sunnier day today. xo
it was so wonderful spending time with you (thank you!), meeting ellie (and millie!) and seeing jon. mm, and the margarita was delicious!
peace & love,
d
Sending love your way. I wish I could come to your big event. That photo of Ellie made my heart melt! I love your newest work and the items you listed that you loved are divine!
you paint lovely word pictures....standing inside moments of happiness. may you stand in these moments often feeling loved.
love the whole feeling and all your creativity here. :)
I remember my old Polaroid!
Liz, your stepping up and holding fast to the good, embracing the positive, the joyful and letting the rest go, well, it's simply inspirational. I love this picture that you have created for us of where you are right now. Holding the space for you in my thoughts.
XOXOX
Sometimes you have to allow yourself the right to wallow, but as ou realized, the key is to set a limit on how long that will go on. I think it helps to allow yourself to acknowledge those feelings when they come up, have a brief pity party and then keep moving forward. I've been there myself, when life hits you square between the eyes. Hang in there Liz. Square your shoulders and get back in the game when you're ready. xo
I can't wait to see some of the pictures you take with the new Polaroid. Your words... perfect and beautiful and raw and truthful and beautiful. Bella's words to you... perfect and beautiful and ditto, ditto, ditto.
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