it is time.

Maybe you're in a space where the longing feels thick. Where the stuff that makes up each day is piling. Where the roles you're playing are pulling you in several directions and you secretly wish you could just step away for awhile.

Or maybe you're in a season where others need you. A lot. And you know you need to create space for you and you simply don't know where to begin.

Or perhaps you've lost the connection with the creative soul inside you - the soul who wanted to write more, take more photos, play with paint and color, or even just cook like she used to. 

If pieces of these stories sound familiar, I invite you to come along to Water Your Mama Soul.

The practices you'll explore and conversations we'll have during this 10-day class will begin to create the foundation you need to tell your story - to live your way into the longings while seeing and feeling the beauty of your everyday life.

Because we can hold two things at once: The longings in one hand and the beauty of our everyday life in the other. The joy of living this crazy, awesome life in one hand and the grief that life hands you in the other.

We can hold all the things.

And we can find our way to feeling grounded and like our true selves in the midst of all these feelings and experiences.

I really believe that.

There's this bridge I keep talking about - this bridge that takes us from our daily to our longings. And no matter the longings, this bridge is really between daily life and more "really good days."

Think about that for a moment. Each day, you're building a bridge to more really good days.

That kind of sounds delicious and not impossible.

But honey, before you build that bridge between today and your longings, you've got to have a foundation to hold it up.

The practices in Water Your Mama Soul will be your foundation. They will help you begin to tell your story so you can name those longings and decide which ones you want to claim as your path.

Come along. We begin March 9th. And this powerful online class is just $20 and includes a private Facebook group where we will connect and honor and share these whispered truths inside us.

Register right here.

a morning ritual (how to smudge)

They walk out the door in a rush, in a flurry of "Please hurry and brush your teeth. You're going to be late. Daddy is waiting."

Some mornings I head to the kitchen window and watch them walk down the twisty steps, him carrying all the things, her chatting and chatting as she gets distracted by the colors of the sky or a tiny insect or the lines the fog makes against the trees.

Other mornings I sink to my knees in the living room and put my hands on the floor, stretching my back into chakravakasana. Breathing. Being. Coming home to me.

And then there are the mornings I plant myself on the red couch and dive right into emails and analytics and holding my heart out in my hand in a virtual invitation.

Lately, I've been adding in a simple clearing ritual to bring me back to center. Some days it's my practice. Other days it closes my longer practice. Always it feels like a prayer.

I stand at our often dusty sprawling family altar and begin to chat to Ganesh. As the words swirl in our little house, as Millie snores in her spot on the rug behind me, I light the sage. Watching the smoke begin to swirl, my voice gets louder. I gently move my hand, enveloping the smoke, and let it encircle me.

And then I begin to walk. Chanting. Clearing the space with my voice, with the sage. 

It's a whisper. It's a roar. It's one woman in her little home asking all that is greater than her to support her in this day, to clear space for all that is to come, to clasp us gently in its grasp.

Yes. 

*****

How to Smudge

If you're new to working with sage or smudging, here are some simply steps to follow. I've included some links to supplies as well:

1. Light your bundle or smudge stick until it flames. It will usually burn out and begin to smoke. If needed, you can blow out the flame, but it should still be smoking. This smoke is what you'll use to smudge.

2. Smudge yourself by wafting the smoke toward you, getting your whole body and then step through the smoke. You can use your hand or a feather or feather wand. If you're smudging another person, make sure they turn around so you smudge both their front and back.

3. If you're smudging a space or your home, begin to walk around slowly, wafting the smoke into the space, being sure to direct it in all four directions in each room. Some traditions say you should walk around your space or home in a clockwise manner. As you're walking, be sure to also carry a small bowl or an abalone shell to catch any ashes. (Lately, I've been using my favorite heart bowls.)

4. As you're walking, think positive thoughts, even say a prayer, or sing or chant. The intention is to invite in what you most want to come into this space. You might even want to write a blessing that you say in each room (or to each person if you're smudging yourself and others).

5. When you're done, remember to gently put out the smoking smudge stick/wand. Do this by pressing it into your abalone shell or a fire-proof ceramic bowl. You'll want to make sure that it is no longer smoking and then leave it in the shell or bowl for a while.

Resources:

There are so many great sources for sage and other smudge sticks on Etsy. You can often find it at Whole Foods and other natural food shops too. Moorea Seal (one of my favorite Seattle shops/sites) also carries some sage and other good things. The sage wand in the photo is from the wondrous Jennette Nielsen.

Using sage is something I first learned about from my teacher Laura Yon. She also taught me the Ganesha chant I sing daily (if you'd like to listen to it and learn it, here's a short audio of me chanting). Additionally, Pixie Lighthorse's teachings have invited me to deepen my experience with the smudging practice.

As always, if you have questions, share them in the comments.

With love and light,
Liz 

All photos by Lauren Oliver Photography

get outside

It's that time of year where we begin to hover between winter and spring over here in my corner. Some days the rain just falls and falls and the grey can really start to get to you. 

But then the sun will appear. 

But then you'll notice the crocuses about ready to bloom.

But then you'll notice the tulips are starting to push upward.

And suddenly that fierce belief that spring will return appears again.

I've learned though that the only way I can stay connected to that belief is by getting outside.

You have to do the practice.

You can't just talk about how you're getting back to your practice if you dive right into email first thing in the morning and don't stop multi-tasking until you fall asleep just after checking email one more time.

You have to do the practice.

You can't just write articles about why people should start practicing self-care and mindfulness.

You have to do the practice.

You can't wonder why you feel so full of all the stuff that swirls around you when you know the very remedy that would help you feel connected to all that you believe in.

You have to do the practice.

So I stood outside breathing in my own backyard as someone used a jackhammer down the street (yes, a jackhammer on a Monday) and the cars whizzed by on the highway in the distance and the hummingbird chirped down at me from the plum tree and Millie the wonder dog sniffed in circles and the cherry trees preened under the sun's warmth and I realized I hadn't yet brushed my teeth and I started counting all the shades of blue in the sky and then I started counting my own heartbeats...

and I pushed aside the lists and the changes to come and the dream that won't stop tapping me on the forehead and the emails I need to answer and the realization that if I don't get in the shower soon I'm going to be that mom at the Valentine's Craft Fair who works from home and sometimes doesn't remember to shower...

and I stood outside and took five deep breaths and then five more. Just being right here. Noticing. Creating space within. Letting it all just be for a few minutes. Uncovering that connection to all that is greater than me for just seconds at a time.

You have to do the practice.

Yes, honey, I'm talking to you.

10 ways to practice self-care at the holidays

Dear beautiful soul,

We're in it aren't we? This beautiful, hard, spirit-full time of year. The Holidays.

Today, I want to reach out and invite you to think about shifting your self-care a bit to support you right now. It still needs to be on your list - your "this is non-negotiable" list - even as you wrap presents and bake cookies and run to the store yet again and how the list goes on and on.

Here are a few ideas to help you think about ways to practice self-care right now. Choose just one from this list to try. Or let these ideas be a springboard for your own.

The important thing: Take time to slow down and notice. Let yourself just breathe within the present moment instead of rushing toward expectations and stuff or whatever else your schedule holds. 

Create space to enjoy the simple things you love about the holidays

Make a quick list of things you love this time of year. Pretend that there isn't a to-do list connected to this and let go of thinking about what your family members love. What do you love? Look over your list and choose one or two and create space to make them happen.

Here's an example: There’s something about the lights of our Christmas tree at night that invite in a sense of stillness for me. I love to simply sit in our family room with just the lights of the tree on while I drink a cup of tea. I just breathe and try to let my thoughts rest as much as I can. When my thoughts are really restless, I’ll stand at the tree and look at the ornaments that represent the childhoods of my husband, myself, and now our daughter. My favorite is the popsicle stick sled from my first grade teacher that I’m holding together with tape after all these years.

Light candles

I've been mentioning this one often lately, and that's because it is such an important practice to me and my family. When it starts to get dark so early in December, I begin to light candles at dusk. Lately, I've been going back to this practice: When I light them, I often whisper a little blessing of gratitude for something that happened during my day. This pushes me to really notice the positives from the day. Then when I blow the candles out before heading to bed, I say blessings of protection and love for my loved ones. 

My current favorites candles are these from Moorea Seal and these amber candles.

Music

I’m one of those people who loves most holiday music, but even if you aren’t a huge fan, there is probably at least one album out there that makes you smile. Maybe it’s Bing singing "White Christmas" or Elvis or Johnny Mathis or Kenny & Dolly. I love just about any version of "Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas," but the one sung by John Denver and Rolfe from The Muppets always brings a wave of nostalgia that feels like home to me. Create a holiday playlist for yourself. 

Creating an altar with photos

Getting out a few photos of the people I miss this time of year helps me to keep them in my mind and heart. It feels good to have them around me instead of letting missing or distant memories get me down. I like to gather a candle and a few small things that remind me of that person, like the shells shown in the example of me walking with my grandpa on the beach, and create a little remembrance altar.

Find stillness

As your mind swirls with all that must get done, you've got to slow down and get recentered honey. Even just taking those five deep breaths several times a day can be supportive first-aid self-care this time of year. Create some reminders for yourself to pause and breathe. This might mean setting a reminder on your phone every few hours. Find a way to just get still. And if you need ideas, check out this post.

Connecting

There are so many parties and gatherings that we can feel we "must" attend, and then in contrast, so many of us can feel lonely at the holidays (whether we have these gatherings or not). As you figure out your schedule over the next few weeks, make the choice to connect with the friends and family who most support you too. This might mean a coffee date, a phone call or getting on Skype, or even texting with a loved one. Make time for those deeper connections. And remember, you don't have to say yes to everything. You really don't dear one.

A cup of tea

I bring up drinking tea often in my self-care suggestions because I really believe that making and then drinking tea (or coffee or hot cocoa) engages all of our senses. This act of slowing down and noticing the smells and taste and even the feel of the warm mug in our hands helps create space for quietness and calm. You can even turn making and drinking a cup of tea into a ritual that grounds you daily and gives you some time just for you.

And this is the part where I say: You can even make your stop at Starbucks this ritual. Skip the drive through. Go inside and order. Then sit and just breathe and take five minutes for you while you drink your latte. Try not to look at your phone for those five minutes.

Get outside

I know it might be really cold where you live, but get outside anyway. If you don't, you're going to go stir crazy. You need the fresh air. You need the sun. You need to remember that there is a big world out there. You need to remember that the birds will keep singing and the trees will keep reaching up toward the sun no matter what this time of year brings you. Go for a walk even if it's just for a block or down your driveway and back.

Let yourself feel all the feelings

This time of year can bring up so much. From expectations to past hurts to hopes that this year your family won't talk about {fill in your own family's story here} to wishing your kids would all smile for the photo to missing loved ones...there's a lot of feelings swirling. Try not to judge the feelings that are coming up for you. Let yourself feel them. Yes, you are allowed to feel sad. And yes, honey, you are allowed to feel happy! And all the other things in between. In fact, you can even feel conflicting things at the same time. You get to choose. (You also get to choose what you do with these feelings. You can dwell. Or you can create your own experience this year. It might be hard to see that, but the choice is there for all of us.)

And remember that those around you have swirling feelings too (even those who might be hurting yours). Tread gently.

Think about how your self-care might have to change this time of year

Maybe you're visiting family or a whole crew is headed your way. Maybe you have to work on Christmas Day. Maybe you're alone for the first time. As you look at what's ahead, think about how your self-care might have to shift. Do you need to get up a little bit earlier because the kids are on break? Do you need to ask your spouse for different kind of support? Do you need to set a boundary around how much you're cooking? Do you need to let go of some pieces of your daily self-care practice due to time and travel?

Think about what pieces of self-care are non-negotiable for you and brainstorm some ways that you can still make them happen.

Then ask yourself this question: What could shift so there could be more ease, more space to really enjoy my loved ones and what I love about this time of year?

I'm cheering you on over here. We really can hold the beauty of the holidays in one hand and the truth that sometimes they are hard in the other.

Give yourself the gift of coming back to center several times a day over these next few weeks.

You deserve to feel the love, and those you love do too.

Blessings,

Liz

PS Feel free to share your own self-care ideas and tips in the comments. I love when we can learn from one another.

photo credits: top photo Lauren Oliver Photography, third photo Vanessa Simpson of Focus in Photography 

creating ripples of love :: an interview with Laura Yon

 

During the last few months, you might have noticed me mentioning here and in my newsletter that I've started going to see "my teacher" up in Seattle every few weeks.  

Laura Yon was my teacher during my two-year yoga teacher training 10 years ago, and she remains my teacher today. She's been helping me with my practice and giving me a soft space to land where I can just be me. She's also teaching me more about meditation and Buddhism, and I'm feeling so blessed to be learning from her on a continuous basis again. We all needs guides and teachers to shine a light for us.

Over here, I keep sifting through my thoughts and feelings about all that's happening in our world, in the United States, in my own corner, and I try to make sense of what's being said aloud by people who are "in charge." And after my last post, I've heard from so many of you that you're doing the same, so I decided to ask Laura if she'd give her perspective on some of the stuff I can't stop thinking about.

She said yes.

And while I had her "on the line," I also asked her about her retreats as I think several of you reading these words would love to connect with her in person. (The safe space she created during our two-year training is one big reason why I felt moved to begin my retreats.)

Read on...

How does yoga and meditation help you keep your heart open amidst whatever is happening in your own life and/or the world around you?  

It is tragic to watch the events of the world and see the suffering that humans continue to perpetuate against one another. The esoteric answer is that, "everything is just as it is supposed to be." This world is a place where there is great love and beauty and also great sorrow. And we are here to fulfill the lessons that each of us is here to learn.

I believe that the fabric of the universe is LOVE and by continually dropping deeply into the places in myself that are connected with this universal energy, I stay charged with a feeling of something greater than myself and of this place. I know that this place is temporary, this feeling is temporary, this suffering is temporary and the universal, eternal energy of LOVE is ever-present, with every breath.

What would you tell someone who feels hopeless when watching the news right now? How can they move from hopeless back to love?

How are you going to be in the world and what ripples are you going to put out into the world?

When something "bad" happens, our first reactions may be based in fear or anger. But meeting the world's events with more fear and anger just reinforces this patterning in the world and in ourselves. All of our thoughts, words and actions have powerful effects, and they create ripples that flow out into the world. Those ripples can be ones of more fear, anger, hopelessness or of LOVE, compassion and understanding.

As the Dalai Lama says, we are ALL human beings who are suffering and we ALL want the same thing - TO BE LOVED. So creating ripples of LOVE, compassion and understanding have a positive energetic effect in the world.

 

Sometimes when we're overwhelmed by what's happening in the world or even to others closer to home, we can feel guilty when we experience good things, as though we should feel bad because we can't fix it all or because we're experiencing joy in our lives. That word guilt is such a big one. I so often talk about how we can hold the beauty in one hand and the grief in the other. Do you have a practice you use that helps you navigate this?

The power of a daily meditation practice for helping us to find balance, equilibrium and clarity in this crazy world can not be over emphasized! It helps us to remember what we are here to do, what is our work and what is someone else's. Their work is not for us to do; it is their practice and lessons to learn. I have a friend who says it is like what the flight attendants say on the airplane, "Put your own oxygen mask on first, before helping others with theirs."

Chanting is another powerful tool to help us stay centered, remember what we want to be creating in our lives, and it can change the energetic charge of the moment. When my mind starts to spin or move in a direction that isn't helpful for me, I come back to my chant. It cuts through the busy-ness of my mind and I can go, "AH, there's my heart, that's where I can rest back into."

I think about the retreats you host and how they are full of moments of joy and restoration while also an invitation to get quiet and listen. Can you share about why it's important to get away and give yourself this gift?

Retreat time is so important! It is a time to re-direct our focus from the external world to our inner world. Everything we are searching for is inside of our own heart, most people just don't have the time in their lives to stop and listen to what our heart's are saying. To have an extended period of time where we get to stay inside the space of LOVE and openness, quiet and listening to our inner, innate wisdom and compassion, is essential to maintaining a spiritual life within the modern city. It is respite for our SOUL.

When we come back from retreat, we then take that wisdom, compassion and LOVE out into our lives, our work and our relationships. It is truly transformative!

happy souls at one of Laura's retreats

Over the years, you've taught me so much about how to create safe space and community. Within the safe space at one of your retreats and even in your classes, students get to slow down, listen, ask for what they need, and find stillness all while in community with you and others. Do you feel like the sangha you create becomes a place to practice how one wants to move through the world?

ABSOLUTELY! Deep, deep listening is SO powerful! In yoga classes and on retreat, the room will become so quiet as everyone drops deeply into their own peaceful stillness. It is so beautiful to witness! Being in sangha with a group of people who are all on an inner journey helps us to become present with what we want to manifest in our world.

As Goswami Kriyananda said, "Whatever you are doing at this moment is what you will be doing more of in the future." So what are we creating with every breath - LOVE, compassion and understanding or something else? We get to choose what we are creating for our lives! Being on this journey with others who are practicing this as well is a truly a gift!

*****

Laura Yon has taught hatha yoga in the viniyoga tradition since 1992 and as a student/practitioner of Buddhism for 30 years, she integrates mindfulness into all of her teaching. To learn more about Laura Yon, visit her website.

She has an incredible retreat coming up in February. And it's in sunny, warm Mexico! The perfect time to get away and spend time in the quiet, practice yoga and meditation, and connect with kindred spirits. It's at one of the world’s best yoga retreat centers on the Yucatan Peninsula, south of Cancun. Swim in the beautiful Caribbean Ocean, enjoy amazing food and great company, explore Mayan ruins, snorkel, walk on the beautiful beach, and have a spa treatment. You can find out all about it here.