letting go {self-portrait challenge}
This evening, I choose to (try to) let go…
Of the need to feel guilty. I think I must be a bit addicted to feeling guilty as I choose to feel it so often. Can guilt be like a drug? Oh how I have gotten better over the last few years, but I hope to keep saying, "thanks, but no thanks" to the invitation of guilt.
Of the need to please. I will not please everyone. I cannot. And the truth is, I will not.
Of the need to dwell. A few months ago a wise friend said to me, "when your friend thinks she could have cancer and her doctor is saying things like, 'we don't really know what it is' and 'we haven't seen this before really' and you don't stand by her or you choose to stay mad about things, well, I think you lose all your friend points then." Yes. This is true. I need to let go of my need to dwell on things like this. Move on.
Of the need to be understood. The truth is, sometimes people just aren't gonna get it. They aren't gonna "get you." And that is okay. It. Is. Okay.
Of the need to look a certain way. I do this more and more as I own that I can just be me.
Of the need to put myself down. It is such an easy record to play in my head.
Of the need to think I am protecting others. Because this is often at the risk of harming myself. The opposite of this is inviting in honesty and boundaries.
Of the need to be liked by people who might be a lot cooler than me.
Of the need to focus on and fear the judgment of others. This goes hand in hand with that need to please. But, this one is really about that word: fear. It is a fear in the pit of my stomach. The fear that I will have to admit I cannot do it all. The fear that I will have to admit my pain, my truth.
Of the need to judge.
Of the need to stuff it in.
Of the need to ask for advice when I already know the answers.
Of the need to call someone.
Of the need to get wrapped up in emotion when I think someone does not understand me. I just keep trying to peel back the layers and let go of this. Knowing my reaction and words and thoughts belong to me. Theirs belong to them.
Of the need to fear what speaking my truth might do.
Of the need to be worried about a post full of pieces of my story (like this one).
Of the need to "have to."
What need do you need to let go of today? Do it now my friends. Let it go.
(maybe even leave an anonymous comment. free yourself…)
(for more "street" photography, visit self-portrait challenge)
liz lamoreux
Reader Comments (21)
Thanks for setting such a great example, Liz. Boy, I have a whole schloo of things I need to let go of too, but how about if I start small? Today, I will let go of my need to be adored every day, all of the time, by everyone I care about.
i am letting go of the need to be more than what i am, and accept the beauty that is already within me. thanks liz. xo, mindy
great pic and post.
it has a heavy feel to it.
Hey Liz, there will come a time when you will feel that you have come into your own. I can tell you it happened for me at 30. I had a friend die just weeks before my 30th birthday, totally unexpectedly and it made me grab hold of the reins of my life and really step into who I am. I was able to let go of relationships that were no longer serving me or honouring who I am. I stopped trying to be the "good daughter" (Looong story there) and started being me, the someone I always knew I was but previously could never be because I was caught up in not rocking the boat and living up to other people's impossible expectations of me. It was liberating and empowering. That's not to say that I don't sometimes still struggle with things, but now the voice that speaks for my inner self is louder than anything else. It's the voice I listen to and it has made me a happier and more fulfilled human being.
I wish the same for you.
i could pretty much pick any one from your list and say the same ~ for today, i will say 'of the need to live up to my own outrageous expectations of myself'.
Have you been spying on me? ;) I could relate to each and every one of these. Things started to shift when I stopped asking for advice so often. It suddenly occured to me that I'm smarter than I'd thought. Yay, a breathrough!
Liz,
I am a dweller too.
I am trying to focus my energies on the positive, sometimes it is a challenge for me to let go.
Congrats on your little shop!
I know your creations took time, effort, and love.
I wish well!
XO,
Melba
Hi Liz,
Great post and great picture today.
I have a huge, HUGE problem with guilt and always have. I'm my own worst critic, my own abuser. It is really bad and I see that. I need to take a word from your post here and try to stop that.
This is the one that I'm so often bad with: Of the need to be liked by people who might be a lot cooler than me.
Why can't I just be me and let those who will accept that? I don't know.
Thank you for making me think today.
xo,
Karen Beth :)
I understand...today, what I need to let go of is my past. Thank you.
Love,
D.
wow. your words are great.
i am a huge reformed (or trying really hard not to be) people pleaser...
i practice every day just being me and being ok with who i am.
it's a constant struggle, but you seem to have a good grasp on self love...
Love this post! I'm choosing to let go of my tendency to second-guess my every parenting choice. If it turns out to have been a poor decision, I guess I'll just apologize later and do better next time. As much as I'd like to, I'll never be a perfect parent.
Thanks!
Like so many others who have already commented, I can relate to almost every one of the needs you have listed. For now, I will add one of my own: the need to have a "grand design" for my life.
Thanks, Liz.
of the need to judge myself by the out of print edition. thank you friend. xo
i cannot tell you how much i needed that....i have been trying to let so many things go and beating myself up about should have and should not haves...i sometimes feel like i am the only one struggling...you spoke so many of my own thoughts. I am working on letting the yesterdays that haunt me go. thanks again.
http://wannamakeamemory.blogspot.com/
you amaze me, over and over and over again. i am so proud of you. and who you're becoming. your words and spirit are a blessing.
yes.
So many of these same things seem to follow me.
There was a time I became sooo totally broken, that I couldn't help but let go. Of so much. I just couldn't hold it anymore, you know? And I learned what a huge, HUGE relief it is to finally just say...So? It is what it is. They are who they are. I am who I am. Lovable, Just the way I am, where I am...*ahhhhhhh*
And by the way, I laugh a little that you would worry about "cool people" liking you. You are cool. Very.
I wish you well.
:)
stunning stunning photo...
thoughtful, beautiful, clear energy...
you are so awesome in your authenticity, thank you.
:)
Oh boy, I have such a hard time with this. I am really attached to "being understood." And all the rest of it. Good luck with it!
She's in the negative friend points column.
Poof. All gone.
I've had this post bookmarked for days now. This is a great post. You teach me so much. As I read it I kept thinking, " What a wise woman!"
I am letting go of
being desperate, self hatred,
and emotions that make me
so sick that I vomit in my dreams