bringing in ritual: laughter {self-portrait challenge}
Throughout my 30 years, I have been poked, elbowed, pointed at, and told that I am too serious. In grade school, I remember hearing kids repeat jokes about the Challenger disaster and they were annoyed with me when I didn’t laugh; I went home and cried as I told my mom about them. When I was even younger, I can hear my parents telling people, “we think she was born 35.” Of course, I don’t even think they were 35 then. But, I agree that it was pretty true sometimes. My first words were a sentence in response to the question my mom asked me every day. “How are you doing Elizabeth?” She would usually then say, “Are you doing fine?” On that day, I guess I looked at her and said, “I’m doing fine, Mom.” Or something along those lines. I guess in a few years I will be catching up to myself.
Being told you are too serious, even by close friends, is something that can wear on a person. “Yes, I know” I want to say, “but I don’t know how else to be.” I have also realized that there were dynamics within my family that invited me to take on this role of being serious a lot of the time, of being “adult” when I was a child. But, I wouldn’t change any of it. Nope. I am growing into a person who really likes herself.
I am also someone who finds a lot of joy in my life. I like to smile. I have been accused of smiling too much. Which means, of course, that those people haven’t met the serious side of me who was born 35. In new situations, I often smile. If you find me smiling a lot but aren’t sure why, chances are I am slightly unsure of myself. Smiling makes people feel better, including me.
When I was ill at the end of last year, I told my friend Heather and my husband on several occasions that all I wanted to do was go to Disney World. I was having a lot of trouble finding the joy in my life. I honestly thought that if someone would just call and say, “you are leaving for The World tomorrow” everything would magically get better. The emotional drama I was experiencing, the health confusion, the fear, the anger…all of it. If I could just go to Disney World. To explain, I don’t mean I think Disney World takes it all away. (Never fear, I get the people who think the commercialism there is pretty crazy, not to mention the prices.) Nope. I mean I wanted to give my brain a rest. I wanted my senses to just get enveloped by the smell of chocolate chip cookies on Main Street USA, the music that fills the air, the sushi at the Matsu No Ma Lounge…and on and on. I just wanted a vacation from my life. But a vacation where I wouldn’t have time to think about it all. My friend Heather said something about how the reason I love Disney World so much is because someone else takes care of me there. The hotels, the people who work there…and I get to stand in line to hug a big monster named Sully (yep, you really get to hug him there – it is the best!). I get to giggle with glee like I did when I suddenly found myself surrounded by Chip, Dale, and Goofy at the MGM Studios. I get to peer with eyes of wonder at the landscape of France in the 360-degree movie at Epcot. I get to have high tea at the Grand Floridian Hotel. I get to see giraffes right outside my hotel room when I stay at the Animal Kingdom Lodge. I don’t have to drive; I just take a bus or the monorail. The soap has Mickey Mouse on it. I am given a break from all that thinking, from the lessons that need to be learned, from the many serious thoughts that invade my space all the time.
But in this desire to escape from the lessons, I find another lesson. What is it that I love? I love the laughter. I get to feel like a kid. That is why I love Disney World. I get to be an 8 year old. Finally.
So this year, I know I probably won’t make it to Disney World, but I plan to invite more laughter into my life. I want to read books filled with humor and watch funny movies. I want to sit with friends and tell funny stories. I want to go and hear comedians. I want to laugh until my cheeks hurt. I want to laugh until I cry.
I extend the invitation to bring laughter into my life.
Here I am giggling with Chip, Dale, and Goofy...
visit more people who are taking self-portraits at self-portrait challenge.
self-portrait
Reader Comments (25)
I loveLoveLOVE that top photo of you, Liz!! You look cute in the bottom one too, but I'm less thrilled with the life-sized furries..heh. But that top one makes me want to hug you because you look so full of joy. :-)
reading that your first sentence was "i'm fine" made me automatically think of indigo girls' Closer to Fine (which by the way, my mom is at their florida concert RIGHT NOW).
beautiful post. beautiful liz.
I had to read this post through twice I enjoyed it so much! It makes ME happy just reading about how DisneyWorld makes you so happy! Every time you have mentioned it I say to myself, "You HAVE to go there!!!" And have you been to Disneyland in CA since they expanded? Here's a good plan! YOU come to SCBWI this August and then we will go to Disneyland AND my very favorite gardens not so far from there!
Just love that picture of you! And loved reading this post too. Makes me want to watch funny movies and reading my old childrens books and giggle :)
xo Sophie
I'm also in search of more fun and laughter. I take this quest seriously :)
Have you ever tried the inner laughter exercise? You laugh with yourself at the sheer beauty and ridiculousness of life until your whole body starts shaking.
I had that this morning, out of nowhere! My voice, my laugh sounded so me. Heehee. gives me a laugh/smile when I remember it. Awesome! But hey, I am looking for the portrait challenge thing, and the link gets me to a very confusing website. Help? cheers folks
there is a lot of joy here, even if you've felt serious for most of your life. as one who often has strangers' say, 'smile' i am there with you. Bringing goofy, joyful fun and laughter into your life is a good thing ~ thank you for this message. xo
Oh how I can relate!! Just this morning my husband told me, "You're a glass-half-empty kind of girl." So true. My grandmother, on more than one occasion, said they all used to "worry" about me when I was little because I was so sullen. I am the classic product of a divorced family (before I was three) and living with an alcoholic mother. Often, I was the mother in the house. And while I don't blame my parents for how I grew up, it certainly shaped the person I am today.
I've been reading your blog for the past few days, and I really like it. We can be serious together, you in Washington and me in New York. I've taken measures to be more creative, to step out of that proverbial box. That's how I let go of my seriousness. And if I see something that makes even me laugh, I will be sure to pass it along to you.
Cheers!
such a wonderful invitation
to extend!
and i love the photos.
what you posted actually
hit a little close
to home for me
because we always say my daughter
is an old soul...she is also
very serious, very mature for her
age.
What a wonderful photo of you!
I've also invited more fun, alughter and joy into my life this year.
Life is serious, no doubt about it - and I respect your ability to honour that seriousness. I think we need to take serious things seriously (does that make sense?)
But let's also have fun, play, giggle and laugh. We deserve it.
To Disney World!
i absolutely love this photo of you...
I feel your pain on being told you're "too serious". I've been called a mini-adult since I was a little girl (and yes, my childhood forced me to be an adult at times). Good for you for learning to love that part of you, and for learning to laugh more.
XO
That first photo is amazing--one of my favorites, actually. Such a beautiful sentiment and "resolution" or intention. (Guess what--in October, I'm going to Disney World!!!)
Love to you,
D.
I love the post and seeing you smile, but that Goofy looks like he is dressed as a cheap Mafioso, so I found him more scary than funny.
How about coming to Disneyland? It's closer!
i love that top photo. a smile burst across my face when i saw it because i could hear the unique sound of your laugher. it warmed my heart.
laughter is such a pleasure. your smile is beautiful.
such a great invitaion :)
You are AWESOME! I adore you.
I love your laugh-and that last pic makes me grin ear to ear and the top makes me smile deeply.
Love to you sweetie
What a free and lovely photo of you! Your entire being shines. Smiling back at you. :)
As one who also was called serious as a child or "10 going on 25", this post struck home. Later in teen years, the word changed to "intense." Freedom to play, to laugh, to just be is healthy and necessary.Wise words of yours here.
My dear hubby, whom I call "GEM" in blogland, tries to give me some of the childhood I missed back. I also made changes in my own life several years ago, as an individual apart from being a wife and mom, to live in the moment with more childlike wonder, which includes laugher and silliness.
We've been to Disney World once. mmmm! Ironically, I was talking to him about a week after discovering Poetry Thursday, about the need to return there. (I just looked at your photo again. What a lovely post, Liz!)
Whee! Look at those wonderful pictures! I hope you experience much laughter and love! You can visit me anytime- I am about two hours south of Orlando- and my rates are cheap!
Whee! Look at those wonderful pictures! I hope you experience much laughter and love! You can visit me anytime- I am about two hours south of Orlando- and my rates are cheap!
Whee! Look at those wonderful pictures! I hope you experience much laughter and love! You can visit me anytime- I am about two hours south of Orlando- and my rates are cheap!
Ooops- sorry about that- stupid blogger!
That´s a great invitation, bring more laughter into our lives! Have you seen this over at Megs?
:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gujSJ4zTlhs
what a wonderful self portrait. you're right, smiling does make people feel better. seeing your smile this morning sure brought a smile to my face! :)