a fortune cookie's fortune {sunday scribblings}
This led me to think about how I spent so much time with my nose in a book when I was in college. So many evenings in Barnes and Noble. I lived on campus, and how much money I would have saved if I would have just gone to the library instead of buying new books. But to go to campus in the evening, alone, meant admitting I didn’t have friends with whom to do something a bit less nerdy. My friends were from my boarding school and they were all at other schools around the country. I loved my classes in college though. Everything began to seem connected. The books I read for school connected to a book I would pick up at Barnes and Noble connected to a conversation I would have with my therapist connected to a passage from a book that my theology professor would hand us to read and so on. Even though I often felt very alone, I began to believe that the authors of the books I was reading understood the path I was walking on. They understood feeling like you might be the only person to see the world in a certain way. But because the connections of the writing sometimes washed over me in such a joyous way, I was certain I was not the only person who saw things the way that I did.
(disclaimer alert) At that time in my life, I did have people who I know loved me (and still do), but this is more about the loneliness that is simply inherently part of who I am.
During the last year and half of reading blogs and the last (almost) year of blogging, I am sometimes overwhelmed in the best of ways because it feels as though this loneliness is lifting. One aspect of being “friends” with the authors on your bookshelf is that there is not interaction. They can share things with you and you can learn, but you can’t really talk about it. With the blogging community I feel a part of, there is a connection, an interaction, between the reader and the writer. You can let people know when their writing resonates deep within you. This is pure magic at times.
Even though it sometimes feels like the people who get me have simply appeared inside a laptop instead of sitting on a bookshelf, I am starting to feel as though the fortune is coming true.
I love that this year I have been introduced to the joys of writing prompts.
As I was driving home after spending a wondrous afternoon with acumamakiki, I was thinking about how amazing it is to feel such a deep connection with someone when you meet them in person for the first time. Then I was reflecting on waking up to three delightful emails from Meg. And even though I felt a tinge of sadness that these women do not live down the street from me, I still was smiling from ear to ear at the realization that I am not quite as alone as I think I am. And some where in the midst of all of those thoughts, the fortune “one day the living room of your heart will be full” came to me. Another layer to this prompt is that in thinking about all of this an idea for a piece of fiction came to me as well. I am still working on that but will share soon.
liz lamoreux
Reader Comments (15)
This blogging world really does seem like an extra special reading world. I get to tell some of my favorite new authors how much I love their work - right now. How great is that. And...and...I get to meet some of them soon too! I think there's a kind of aloneness that comes with being a more creative person, we live in our inner world a little more. I'm glad the lonliness is lifting for you, I'm really glad you've reached out into this tribe.
Oh dear girl, this made me smile even in my jet-lagged state. It really was a great day for me, on so many levels and even though I sometimes don't feel that type of connection in my day to day friendships, I felt able to appreciate what I do have here at home, because of having kindred spirits and connections elsewhere. It felt better for that you know?
mwah!
i love spending time with you, even if it is only here. thanks for the grat post and for sharing a part of yourself with me. i agree with deidre, i'm really glad you've reached out to this tribe.
You are definitely a wonderful (and frankly wondrous) part of this whole crazy quilt we've created. I loved the way you described the way all of your books connected to everything else while you were in college. Yes, that's the state I always aspire to, exactly.
Loved your take on this prompt.
I'm now inspired to go place fortunes into books for people to find!
I have received several emails over the past few months asking me to explain what I mean when I say blogging has changed my life. and your post is the reason why. Even when I have had "friends" around me and I too know my family loves me, I have been searching for like minded souls my whole life and I have found them here! Hooray!
You are very brave (and fortunate)to meet so many blogging friends in person. Even though (obviously) I want to meet all of you I am VERY scared too. I realize that I feel shy and nervous to meet all of you in-person. I think it will be easier for me to meet everyone in a big group (at justBe...). I have talked to you and have met one other blogger, but both experiences were so intense they hurt my heart (not in a bad way, but still overwhelming for me) I don't usually feel socially awkward..I never did when I worked in retail...now suddenly I do. Which is weird and something I haven't thought about much, but will need to explore why.
You have shared how you have connected with many blogging friends in small groups or one on one (in person and through emailing and phone conversations). I would love to know more what that is like for you and are you ever scared to meet a blogging friend in person?
I envy you for meeting so many blog friends. Someday...
This is a wonderful community and I'm glad it is a part of fulfilling that fortune cookie. I can see now that your penchant for arranging your books so their authors can "communicate" started early on while you were getting acquainted with them in college ;-)
the past few weeks i have been so very disconnected from this community and i could tell. this has really become a piece of my life and to go without it felt, well, like grief. even though i knew everyone was still out there waiting for me, my absence still impacted me. it's a relationship. if only one side in relating it's not the same. i can't wait to get back into it.
you have described so well what i have learned to love about blogging networks. and i have spent many a nights in barnes and noble, both throughout hard highschool years and right now during lonely college years. i really hear what you wrote about starting to notice the connections between books and assignments and conversations, and what an incredible comfort that can be. i am clinging more and more to poems and books and beautiful posts like many of yours to keep me company and help me not feel so alone in the way that i see the world. thanks for such a reaffirming piece.
I could...can so identify with this statement in your entry "...loneliness ...is simply inherently part of who I am." I've always felt I could go to any bar or cafe in any city and be utterly alone, not a bad thing all the time, but other times, not so good.
Thanks for sharing your heart and your mind. You did it very poignantly. You write your heart well! It is difficult not to respond with like feeling.
Very lovely post, Liz. You're absolutely right about the inter-connectedness of the blogosphere. I think the interaction makes all of us feel a bit better about our writing. Certainly it's inspirational to read other writers' work and be able to tell them how much you admire their writing; that it touched you in some way. Thank you for pouring your heart into your writing and enriching us all. xo
I agree with you on many levels. I esp. like the prompts too...They have reawakened part of me...I thank you for all you work on your site..which has become my favorite day of the week...
Wendy from Quiet about a lot of things....
this is my first visit to your site ... lovely piece & wondefully describes some of the fortunate joys I've discovered whilst blogging too ... cheers!
A year and nearly three months after you wrote this post, I stumbled upon it whilst searching for ideas for handmade fortune cookies . . . and I'm so glad I did. What a lovely and grateful meditation. You sound like a wonderful, thoughtful, and best of all, real person. Thanks for what you shared.