it might just be me...
On my way to teach yoga the other night, I went to change lanes and realized that for the last mile or so I had been that person with the blinker on driving the people behind me crazy.
I can only imagine what was said about me.
"Is she changing lanes or what?"
"Why isn't she getting over?"
"You have plenty of room lady!"
I felt horrible and was embarrassed, so I just turned up the music and sang a little louder.
My thoughts turned to something a yoga teacher said to my training group one day as we were studying the yoga sutras. "How much time do you spend thinking about your relationships with other drivers? These people that you do not even know." The context was to think about how much time we put into the relationships with the people we hold dear to us. And how much time we put into our own relationship with ourselves. Then to think about the time we put into relationships and moments that are not about us at all. But we make them all about us.
Think about it. The last time you were annoyed, angry, furious at another driver. Someone. you. do. not. even. know. Someone you might become friends with in a week, a month, a year. Someone who is dear to someone else. The people who cut you off, talk on their cell phones as they swerve, put make-up on, drive too slow, and yes, the people who leave their blinkers on. And the people who have been angry with you because you did any and all of the above. The people who threaten you with a glare or a finger in the air. Angry with them or feeling horrible because how could you do such a thing as run a stop sign? How often have you spent minutes or much, much longer thinking about that short relationship you had with another driver.
Imagine if you spent that much time sitting with yourself...talking with your best friend...reading a favorite book...walking outside...calling your mom and telling her you love her...hugging your partner...laughing...twirling around your bedroom...finding the gratitude...writing a note to someone just because...letting your brother know you miss him...playing with your dog...looking at yourself in the mirror with kindness...lighting a candle for peace...coloring...smelling the flowers...letting go...meditating...praying...singing...eating an apple...drinking a cup of tea...listening to the whispers of your soul.
Imagine if you did that today.
Right now.
And the next time you are behind that person with her blinker on...remember...that person might just be me. And I sure would love it if you would just laugh with me. Or just turn up your radio and sing.
liz lamoreux
Reader Comments (16)
Good point! One that I need to remind my boyfriend of...ha! He's so incredibly patient and kind-hearted...but put the man behind the wheel of a car and his altar ego comes out! :)
It's your car, your blinker, we give you space on y(our) roads...symbolic...what if you had a broken blinker that kept blinking? Would that be permissible? What would be different?
I have a friend that works alot of temp jobs. She once told me she is always afraid to honk at other drivers of flip the bird in case they are her future boss... Haha, not so zen, but it works for her.
Lovely post. And not just drivers either...it is so easy to expend energy thinking about relationships that DON'T sustain us. Maybe we find it easier to do because there is no give and take, no danger of true loss.
Great reminder. This also points to something else...the impact we actually have. Think of a stalled car in rush hour traffic and how much impact that car has on and the others it encounters. Wow! Thanks agaiin.
teehee...
i feel completely
guilt free
because
i'm thirtyfive
and
heh
no drivers license
teehee
but i think you have made an
excellent point regardless,
:)
hi there!!
LOVE THIS!! You're right - we do waste so much energy on the things that just do not matter. I tried to do some small things for me today (I DID IT! I danced alone in the living room!!!!!) I'm going to come back to this post again and again!! oop! and you just reminded me, I have to call my Mom!!
P.S. I dearly WISH I lived close enough for you to be the driver in the car ahead of me - we could sing a duet!!
When you spend a lot of time and emotional energy getting upset about people you don't even know, a friend of mine says "you're letting them take up space in your head and they aren't paying rent". I love that way of putting it and whenever that phrase pops into my head I pull myself up short and try to let go of the stuff that doesn't matter.
this is thought provoking and fun at the same time! these are the things i think about. i often think, "maybe that person is having a horrible day, in a fight with her husband or just lost her grandmother...". it helps me have compassion and move on. and i know it will soon be me who almost misses my exit and will be at the mercy of some kind person to let me slip in....love your thoughts.
People who get so upset in the car are actually scary to me. One night a man was screaming at me from his car window and tried to follow me home. I led him directly to the police department in the neighborhood near Atlanta where I lived. He kept driving! ;) The officer was convinced I must have cut him off somewhere on the Interstate without realizing it when chaning lanes. He indicated this kind of behavior is common!
There really are some nuts out there. I have a friend who was sitting at a red light when the man behind her got out of his car with a tire tool and approached her window! She had no idea what she might have done to cause this. Why people become so irate and crazed in traffic is a mystery to me. We see/hear it every day with horns honking, hand gesturing, loud comments, and reckless driving initiated in retaliation of another driver.
Your message is so true. To empower another by giving away our own energy is ridiculous. When I am tied up in traffic I try to entertain myself with the radio or by observing the sights around me and find something new in the environment. If I am late, I am late. All the screaming and fuming in the world will not change how late I am going to be so I ignore it. If someone does something dangerous to endanger me while driving like run a red light or stop sign, I try to take down the tag number. That is the best I can do.
Great great post. I'd have to say the only regret I have in my life is all the time I've wasted while I worried over these exact issues. You're right and as I get myself into the car this afternoon to go back to work, I'll have something to ponder.
I'm lucky to live in a place where drivers don't do that to each other, or get angry with each other. Maybe because we don't have many drivers (relatively speaking)... our entire state population is less than 3/4 million. I can drive across the state and pass people I know in cars 250 miles away. And many people wave at other drivers when they pass -- I do, (though not in the city, unless I know the person)
anyway, it's a different world out here in the hinterlands. But I get your point .... there are so many things I tend to spend my mental and emotional time and energy on ... that would be better spent focusing on positive things, on things like in your list. I like the notion of coloring instead of dwelling on something that makes me mad! Sounds like Sark!
Next time I'm behind someone with a blinker on ... I think I'll look to see if it's you, Liz! ;-))
What a wonderful perspective, and how important for us all. My daddy always tells me that when I am getting frustrated with an unusually slow driver (or one with a non-stop blinker, etc) to just remember that it could be my daddy (as he hates driving in the city and thus becomes that annoying driver). Believe it or not, this advice has helped me...now I laugh to myself and say a silent prayer for all the "daddies" out there on the road (and all of us behind them):)
Great post! You have inspired me yet again.
xoxo,
TD
Excellent post,
thank you
this was juicy...thank you.
you know...i have a friend that blows kisses and waves with a huge smile if someone gives her the finger or throws up their hands at her on the road. it cracks me up.
you're right on. it's all about being conscious of where and who your energy is going to.
beautiful post.
(i wish i could take a yoga class from you)
A wonderful invitation to change perspectives. You always inspire me!