remembering my way back
(rose in pt. defiance rose garden. october 2006. canon digital rebel.)
Lately, I have been struggling with what to write about here. And I am remembering my way back. The quote, attributed to The Buddha, that sits atop this page every day is one reason why. A private session with my yoga teacher this weekend reminded me as well. I believe that we are here in the place we are in because our soul has a question. We seek the answer.
And even though I am also remembering that it isn't popular and it isn't easy and it isn't something everyone else wants to talk about and people perceive me as a serious person, searching for this answer is part of who I am. This is part of who I am. And I am not going to change to fit the mold of an expectation or to be "liked" by another.
As the snow falls and falls, I sit here knowing the truth. Even though I sometimes run from it, even though I fear it, even though I do not always understand, I am here. I am showing up. I am peeking underneath things and peering around corners and stopping to listen, and trying to find the courage to speak. I am showing up. Though the answer may never be found, and maybe finding it really isn't the true goal, I am showing up to seek, to learn, to crack open, to grow, and to love.
Today, when I started this post, I thought I would just share this photograph and a quote. Because, like I said, I thought I didn't really know where I wanted to go with this blog, what to say knowing my words are read by people who know me, kind of know me, don't know me at all, or think they know me. Taking a break from work and remembering my teacher's mention of Hafiz in our session, I turned to his words. And I turned to a page in the middle of the book, to this poem*:
(*Translation by Daniel Ladinsky in the book The Gift. Shared with permission.)
liz lamoreux
Reader Comments (14)
What a lovely post! Isn't that what we all search for? Home? And, yes, it is within us to a degree but community with likeminded others is just as important. You are asking the important questions. As long as you remain open, the answers will reveal themselves because... as Anais Nin said "And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom."
Peace,
~Chani
I'm glad you're back. What you write here always leaves me thinking a little more deeply and feeling my heart just a bit more. Hope you're feeling better. You've been on my mind.
yes.
yes, stay on your path. we all get distracted from time to time and i also struggle with the direction of my blog. glad you got some good news...
i miss snow so much it almost hurts. i'll try to be patient and hope for the best (snow, damnit, snow!).
but, i want to tell you...thank you for writing this post. your honesty felt...well, it just felt good. i respect you and your writing all the more for remaining true to itself. that is, after all, why i keep coming back. ;)
lots and lots of love to you liz.
j.
I'm so glad to see you back.
The poem you've shared here hits home for me; I've strayed from my own search through my journal. Time to leave work at the office and do my own work at home. Thanks for these wise words and the beautiful photo for inspiration, Liz.
So glad you had a bit of good news (yesterday's post) and are finding some good time to reflect and renew yourself today. Thanks for sharing the beautiful poem. Blessings . . .
Have you read "The Celestine Prophecy" by James Redfield? I´m reading it at the moment and I´d be really interested in your opinion.
Gosh...this entry has left me with no words to speak. I just agree with yours.
Take care!
Sophie
i echo jessie's sentiment. i read every new post, and send my good wishes and prayers to you. lots of love.
beautiful friend, i hope with all my being that when you feel the light tenderly touching your colorful petals, encouraging you to unfold them to the sun, the wind, the rain, the snow, the all of it, that you will know and believe that i am a part of that light.
I love this post. Thank you. Reading your blog always seems to ground me.
i love hafiz--i have never read this poem before--just beautiful. thanks for sharing.
The courage you show in each and every post has helped me explore new parts of myself. Words such as these here, touch a place I generally try not to feel, that in itself is something to explore! I'm glad you're back and I'm glad you get to see the world dress up in a sparkling costume for awhile! It's headed my way tomorrow, they say.
Hugs ...