you will.
i can hear you laughing as though someone might just be about ready to tickle you. you laugh so loud and long until you can hardly breathe. i wonder what time of day it is and what happened five minutes ago, five hours ago in your world. i see you, a little girl who has a little brother as evidenced by that plush ball perfect for a crawling baby brother in the photo. i see you and know that in this moment you felt just as loved as you did before he came into the world. before you wished on a penny at geno's and came back to the table to inform everyone you had wished for a baby brother. i know that sofa that pulled out into a bed where your grandparents would stay when you moved to the house on oak road. but now, now that sofa is in the family room and i can see the green chair and the built-in bookshelves and hear the rolling stones or is it neil diamond now playing on the record player. i see that you are safe in this moment of from the depths of your soul laughter. i see that you are smiling that huge showing the gums smile that people who really know you see when you feel safe. i can see you and hear you and imagine how soft your cheek might feel if you rushed up to the person taking this photo and hugged that person so close so you nuzzled your cheek against his neck and breathed in aqua velva and love.
i think about all this as i sit here feeling a baby move inside me. this baby we've been told is a daughter moves inside me tonight and i call my mother to tell her and then, i sit inside the circle of it all and remember how loved you are, how loved we are. and even though the road to this moment of contentment and truth will be filled with so much you cannot even imagine and it won't always be safe to smile and be you and wish on pennies, in this moment of giggles and looking into the camera, know that you will find your way.
yes, baby girl, you will find your way.
remembering in write, write, write
Reader Comments (13)
Oh! so sweet and so happy for you! A daughter ~ what a sweet blessing!
xoxo
oh how this all makes me smile :-) xoxox
i knew she was coming to you... :)
and i love this photo of you. xo
yes. she. will.
xxoo
k
seriously a fabulous photo and post to see first thing in the morning as I wipe the sleep from my eyes and slowly try to embrace the day. a baby girl .... sigh. xo
Oh, Liz! My heart swells with joy and hope for you and your baby girl. Congratulations! XO
just beautiful!
congrats! love the photo and your story reminded me of my son -- about the same age you were when your bro was born...only the day before his sister was born he prayed for a baby sister (whom we'd name Mary Anthony -- middle name after him)...
Oh my goodness! This is such a beautiful post! And you are having a baby girl!!! What a lucky girl to have parents like you and your husband! Congratulations!
I dont know which is stronger; the tears stinging my eyelids or the goosebumps running up and down my legs. I am so thrilled for you Liz, so thrilled for you and John. I can feel this whole community locking arms and lifting you up in support. This little girls will be loved, so deeply welcomed into the world.
Delurking to say that I've been reading your thoughtful and heartfelt blog for a few months now but this post, oh this post has just gotten me today. Long story short I was told by my pediatrician just this morning that my 20 month old daughter needs to have a developmental delay test completed....oh but your post has brought me back down to earth. I am and will remain that supportive mother you talk about here and once your daughter is here (joy, joy, joy it's a girl) you will be the same. At birth, 20 months, and 20 years you'll be just that...I can tell by what you write and put out into this world. Thanks for such a lovely blog.
ohhhh...
how i love this.
and what a fantastic mama you will be...
xo
Hi.. new here to your blog.. (well again.. ran across it before, but now taking the time to look around).. Love this! I have a daughter and can say that being a mother to a little girl is something truly magical. So happy for you!