this time...
these full of joy photos are such a contrast to this time last year...
this time last year we were waist deep in please let us get through this. please let her grow, thrive, live.
this time last year we were standing on the edge of knowing open-heart surgery was to come for a baby weighing less than 10 pounds.
this time last year my body was trying to heal in the midst of everything else.
this time last year i stood tall as a mother, as a woman, as a warrior, in ways i never imagined.
this time last year i couldn't remember a night filled with restful sleep.
this time last year i was afraid to admit that parts of my experience giving birth had been traumatic in every sense of that word.
this time last year i couldn't remember what my own laughter sounded like.
this time last year i had just finished the final edits of my book.
this time last year i began a practice of honoring what is real in my life, and i began to see the beauty in that real.ness.
this time last year i found myself blessed to realize i had loved ones and complete strangers around the world praying for our little family.
this time last year i was far far away from what "most people" experience when they bring home their child from the hospital.
this time last year i was shedding all expectations.
this time last year i was realizing what be present meant at its core.
this time last year i was longing for the sea and hoping she would heal me.
this time last year we wondered if her eyes would stay so blue.
this time last year i had never heard her laughter.
this time last year i held onto the poetry of mary oliver in the hopes that it would keep me tethered to truth.
this time last year i stepped out of a few roles i had been playing for far too long.
this time last year i began to think that a heart breaks and mends with each breath thoughout a lifetime.
this time last year i would close my eyes to rest but still see the green line and hear the beeping.
this time last year i could fall asleep in the middle of almost anything.
this time last year i had never been more aware of all that i did not know and all that i could not control.
in this moment, i sink into the beauty that is the loud with living laughter of a little girl taking her first unaided steps as she walks back and forth between her mama and daddy.
in this moment, i sink into the beauty that is a little girl who is so brave and strong and full of joy as she stands tall in simply being 13 months old.
and in this moment, i begin to rest my tired eyes with a soft sigh because i know that even in the midst of all that pulls on my mind and heart, we are so blessed.
real
Reader Comments (14)
Liz - I love the photos. It is amazing what you have been through in the span of a year. Thank you for sharing some bits of your story!
liz you are so brave. your little girl gave you the opportunity to show you just how strong you are. you will always be blessed.
Wow! Beautifully written. Raw and honest. Thank you for sharing and pulling me out of a momentary self-absorbed funk. What a beautiful family you have!!! <3
on a side note...i wanted to let you know that i did a photo shoot with my beautiful daughter wearing your beautiful necklace. i have had many people ask me where i got it so i gave you a little shout out on my blog and on my facebook page. hope that is ok!!! if not, shoot me and email!! wanted you to get the credit though!! lovely necklaces!!!
So beautifully put. I love the line- I was shedding all my expectations. No small thing.
Enjoy your precious blessing
Aim blessed to be moving through this life with you and Ellie -- even though circumstances have been so challenging for us...
i really love this. i love how strong your family has held together even though obstacles have tried to tear it all apart. i'm not a momma, but my hubby and i are trying and i know that your words will guide me as i face my own obstacles into motherhood. knowing we're not alone is sometimes the answer to all of our questions.
just knowing that you've made it through the rocky waters and have come out on the other side with a genuine smile should be a forever reminder that you can get through anything. And what better way to get through it, than with that little cutie?!
thanks for these words. after a rough day, they helped me remember that nothing is set in stone, not even the rough ones.
So glad to see you grow, and that many of the clouds have lifted. Still holding your family in my heart and prayers. Yay for the three of you!!
love : *
What a blessing! Today I'm sending up prayers of gratitude for you and your family and the light you've brought to the world.
This time last year, I was reading your words and sending you positive vibes from a distance. You really never know who is reading your words at any given moment and how many lives you have touched by sharing your courageous story. xoxo
this my friend, is so filled with beauty, truth, love, and honesty. Thank you for sharing so much of yourselves with us here. You are a blessing to this world. xoxo
Yes. Celebrating with you.
This is beautiful. I've learned that there is a quiet strength {for me, this is God} that comes to us in our darkest hours...it sustains us, lifts us (although we may not even be aware) and carries us to the other side where we begin to see with eyes unglazed. And here you are, on the other side, feeling gratitude for the journey and all that the darkness has given you. How so very precious that laughter is when it has been hard-earned.