november 27
me through jon's lens . november 27, 2009
so begins the me being real in this space about the new part of my path that includes the mama journey...
the new normal. this is the phrase i have been using today. i tried to explain it to jenna tonight...how sometimes i forget i am pregnant because the nausea, eat eat eat, oh no nausea, oh no to the bathroom quickly experience has morphed into the new normal.
twenty-one days to make a habit is something i learned from stephen covey many years ago in his habits of highly effective people. well, weeks and weeks of this has morphed into what feels a bit like a habit.
wake up. how do i feel? should i move? of course because i have to go to the bathroom like right now. (this tops my list of things they don't tell you. that the having to go to the bathroom all the time thing isn't a third trimester thing...nope, starts right at the beginning when the baby is the side of a poppyseed [really, get the emails from babycenter.com...this week, it tells us the baby is the size of a medium-sized shrimp...jon and i like the fruit analogies better as a kumwquat seems less vulnerable than a shrimp, don't you think?].)
then, my thoughts turn to "should i eat breakfast?" well, i have to eat something or i will be sick. what can i eat? and then the cycle continues. little meals they say. often. otherwise you will throw up. try to exercise. but if i move suddenly, i might throw up. yoga. yes. how i wish i could. but i cannot even imagine it at this point. time for a preggie pop (thanks dear girl as these really do help). the me of a year ago would not believe i know what something called a preggie pop is (and now you do too. you are welcome). this will end soon they say. hmmm. will it? some women have this the whole time. just wait until week 14. just a few days to go my friends. the magical week 14 will soon be upon me.
i appreciate the recommended book that calls this NVP instead of morning sickness which sounds like a cousin to the vapors. NVP = nausea and vomiting in pregnancy. yep. pretty much covers it. i have been feeling better as i have been taking some midwife-approved things that help. but then the nausea is replaced with pretty intense fatigue. and then a day like today sneaks in and it seems like nothing helps.
goodness i sound dramatic. but it was a really wacky moment this morning when i sat on the floor of the bathroom and jon came in with a glass of water and was rubbing my back and said something like, "thank you for carrying the baby bean" and i looked at him and said, "this morning, i haven't once thought about how i am pregnant." pause pause pause. "this is my new normal. i don't even think about the baby." it is like i jump from symptom to symptom...
this feeling like this is the new normal is an odd journey. not complaining exactly. not upset at anyone (and obviously not upset at the baby bean). certainly understand it is worth it as i cannot wait to meet this little soul in a few months. just painting a picture as this new normal is, at times, a tough way to navigate the world right now. at least for me.
and, it is an interesting thing to try to do everything that needs to be done and play all the roles one is expected to play (the roles i expect myself to play). i am doing a pretty good job of being gentle with myself. but when i receive emails from people wondering where i've been lately, all i can do is try to breathe and just know, my new normal is not their new normal. i can't wear all the hats right now. and that has to be enough.
and i know, and i trust, that it is.
what is real in mama journey
Reader Comments (10)
congrats liz!! i hope the feeling ill ends soon. you will be a terrific momma. take care and love ya girl!!
I know how you're feeling. I had about a two month stretch of mild (very mild) all day nausea. I could eat very bland foods in small doses (almost like when you get a stomach virus) and really, it was only a feeling for me. I did not throw up once - I consider myself lucky!
I'm so excited for you and Jon. This is new ~ and everyday will bring a different feeling, physically and emotionally. I was pregnant well over 9 years ago, so I have no idea of any of new treats that could help ease your symptoms (I know I drank lot's of de-caffinated soda for the heartburn that plagued me the last month before birth) - but I will love reading about your journey in this most happiest of times. xo
Motherhood is not for sissies! My pregnancy was very rocky with hyper emisis (this means non-stop barfing) for 7 months. I spent ALOT of time in and out of hospital. You are right-this is the stuff no one tells you.
Honestly, there's no way through it, but through it. It helps to think that it WILL come to an end, one way or another, but I know how depressing it can be to be stuck in this phase of things. I got to the point where I was very jealous of those women who are happy and fat during pregnancy.
If it makes you feel any better, my son was an Angel baby-he barely cried and was a good sleeper, so I took that as compensation for the trial it was to get him here.
Hang in there! *supportive hugs*
one hat at a time i think... as the mood strikes you... perhaps a fluffy soft hat, with a pom pom at the top, and some strings to tie under your chin, but leave them untied so they will sail a little in the wind... and I think it might be lime green, with a deep magenta band... xo
have you tried ginger? the "new normal" hat is the perfect color for you. the perfect size. it is just exactly what you need. and you can wear just that ONE HAT however long you want to. i will write you a note, if you would like me too. it would say something like.....the beautiful magnificient liz, soon to be most awesome mom, has permission from the universe to wear this one hat indefinitely. amen
aww liz i wish i could make a warm and soothing potion to make nausea go away. or maybe weave you a hat of magic with lichen and bird songs and fluffy soft whispers....yes...
Oh, Liz!
First, congratulations! Second, I feel ya sister, THIS has totally been my new normal for 13 weeks now. Started 3 days post Squam :)
I, too, rarely think about the baby in the midst of the yuck.
But three nights ago, I felt her move. SO much earlier than my first babe I thought it couldn't possibly be. But after three nights, lots of google searches and reading in What to Expect, I know what I am feeling. In the quiet stillness before I close my eyes to sleep, I can feel her move. I had forgotten what a magical feeling it is to feel life to stir inside.
And so this has replaced my new normal with another "new normal."
Yours is just around the corner....
Blessings!
Jamie
Sending lots of positive vibes your way. Motherhood surely is a journey.
One Love.
liz, did you know that morning sickness is actually caused by being mineral deficient!!!! For some reason, that fact is not well known, so my advice for you would be to really increase the intake of fresh RAW fruit and vegetables.... if you crave fish that means your body is craving essential fatty acids and if you crave cheese...then your body is craving vitamin D, so just make sure your nutrition is correct... x
I send you beautiful blessings at this time. Oh liz, this baby is going to have more love from it's blogging aunties, than you could imagine. ; )
How lovely! I'm beaming for you both.
xoxo