I'm thinking about...

I'm thinking about how my dear friend is probably going to lose all her hair this month because she starts chemo next week.

I'm thinking about how good this cold brew coffee tastes with vanilla almond milk and how I probably can't let myself buy almond milk anymore because of the drought in California.

I'm thinking about that moment when Ellie got down on the floor next to Millie yesterday and whispered to her and then stood up and said, "I was just chanting to Millie to let her know she can keep sleeping. I love chanting to Millie and to my stuffed animals every night." Earlier that day when I'd started chanting a song to Ganesha as I put our new statue of him on our very messy but made with love (and a side of dust) family altar, she said, "I hate it when you chant."

I'm thinking about how easy it is to judge someone else's parenting when you see snippets of a life online or even in person. 

I'm thinking about how we try on words and roles and ways of being in the world when we're five and when we're 35 and when we're 65.

I'm thinking about how many visits and trips are on our summer calendar and that I get to choose the boundaries I set about my own self-care needs and how I react to the self-care needs of others.

I'm thinking about the moment we were in Seattle over the weekend and I noticed that I still really don't feel like we live here even though it has been 11 years. Outside the city and inside the city aren't the same thing. I want more inside the city moments but maybe I actually want them in my own town.

I'm thinking about how we sat in an ice cream shop yesterday and it felt very Portland with the adorable hipster guys scooping ice cream in their shirts decorated with popsicles and the tip jar wearing a bow tie and then as Jon and I chatted about how cool it is that they opened I found them on Instagram and realized they'd been open for a year and they are less than two miles from our house.

I'm thinking about the magic that is just sitting inside my studio waiting to become talismans and touchstones that people hold in their hands.

I'm thinking about the conversations I've been having with the ladies coming to One Move and the awesome peeps who dove into my Back to the Basics beta test. And I'm convinced that these real, raw, hilarious at times, sincere, honest, gorgeous conversations about how we build a bridge between daily life and more really good days, between daily life and the longings inside us, are the conversations I want to be having with you every single day moving forward.

I'm thinking about how I thought I had to create a new guidebook to how to build this bridge but realized I already had volume one in the form of Inner Excavation. We could call it Step 1: Get to know the one person you'll be spending the most time with as you build this bridge.

I'm thinking about all the scary stuff in the world and I'm thinking about all the beauty people are creating with their hearts, with their hands, with their words, with their little moves in their corners of the world, and I'm convinced that we're all going to be okay, that there is more love than we can imagine available to us when we reach out our hands, that there really is someone out there just waiting for you to say, "You can sit right here beside me."

I'm thinking about how glad I am to be sitting beside you today.

{Thoughts from the back porch while eating peanut butter on raisin toast on June 10, 2015}