exploring the longings
I posted the following photo on Instagram a few weeks ago and shared these words:
Post coming soon about how we're trying "rainbow dinners" around here to get her to try new foods. (What you aren't seeing in this photo: 3 huge Uline boxes with shipping supplies, an IKEA candle chandelier with about ten spider webs, bird poop on one of the cushions, weeds taller than EJ, and the face of my daughter as she whines "fine I don't want dessert because I'm NOT trying that plum. I'm only eating corn and strawberries!")
I wrote all that extra "what you aren't seeing" info because I know that so often when we scroll through Instagram, we see dreamy, filtered photos and start to fill in the blanks of what we think our "friends'" lives must look like. I know this because I do it too.
I've been known to create a whole story by looking at just one photo.
This might have happened for someone reading my "rainbow dinner" post earlier this week, looking at the table filled with colorful bowls and plates and a happy tablecloth.
They might have even had a thought like, "We're lucky if we take the Mac and Cheese out of the microwave container." (I'm writing that example because it's one we live too some days.)
But again, it all comes down to choices. Here are just a few of the choices hiding in the filtered photo above:
- More joy at dinner time: I've gathered quite a few happy bowls and mismatched plates over the years because they always make me smile and can make the simplest dinners full of more joy. Happy straws and flowers on the table more often helps me access this joy too.
- My everyday life is worthy of using the good stuff: I've started using the vintage tablecloths I've been collecting instead of keeping them for the parties I will throw one day or only using them for retreats. I've begun to own that my everyday life is is worthy of "using the good stuff."
- Quieting the self-judgement: We've been sitting on the back porch even though we're sometimes surrounded by boxes of shipping supplies or a few cobwebs or weeds because eating dinner outside makes us happy. And sitting at the table is a habit we are slowly cultivating. It isn't happening every day but I'm trying to record evidence that it does because it helps me soften self-judgement.
Each day, I'm making small but tangible choices toward the life I want. When I'm waiting for things to all come together or for life to get easier or wishing for my habit of stacking instead of putting away to change, I'm not paying attention to the awesome life we are already living, to the moments full of love and joy.
Of course this doesn't mean that every day feels like it's full of rainbows and ease. Quite the opposite actually. It also doesn't mean I'm trying to wish this current life into something else. Nope. Making small moves every day toward the life I want is actually about being in the present and seeing the beauty that is already here.
And I want my daughter to see the ways I live my dreams into reality even in this small house with the weeds growing next to the hosta plants.
Perhaps more importantly, I want to look myself in the eyes each day and know I'm making the choice to open my heart more each day and really live.
Yep.
Today, I invite you to notice what comes up when you're scrolling through Instagram (or other social media). Do you find yourself feeling longings inside to step inside the photos you see? (And if you notice judgement coming up, look closer to see if a longing is actually inside that judgement.)
Then, take some time to listen to those longings and what they have to teach you. Do you want to travel more? Cuddle more? Read more? Do you want to make more space for writing or adventures or rest?
Think about what moves you could make toward those longings.
one move in chickadee road
Reader Comments (6)
This is so very good. I am sharing this! Everyone should read this. Such beauty in your reality. Thank you for sharing the "what is not pictured" with us! XOXO
I love this! I'm trying some of the same things and it's so good to see other ways to do it. I bought a table last year for my porch just because I love to eat outside. I never had one before because I am single and I thought...how extravagant! But, then I did. And I didn't eat at it ONE TIME last year. I felt like there was never time or I shouldn't sit there by myself. But, this year...I eat out there about 4 times per week. And it's such a great treat for me. Thanks for sharing this lovely story of your growing life :)
This resonated with me so much today Liz. Yesterday I posted a photo of my bedside table after I had cleaned. My books were all lined up neatly and everything on top was arranged nicely. One of my friends commented that when she looks at my photos she wishes her house was as clean/tidy as mine because hers is always a mess. I reassured her that most of my house looked just the opposite. Reminded me that I do the same when I look at beautiful photos of other friends' homes/lives, judging how perfect they are/imperfect I am on just one image. I love how you have framed this concept...turning the jealousy we sometimes feel into something more productive. :)
As someone with a love/hate relationship with social media, I really like the idea of reframing others’ “perfect”pictures into a look at my own longings. Thanks much.
I really like this Liz. I am an empty nester and a widow, and find myself envious of pictures all the time. This gives some perspective. Thanks.
i really did laugh out loud at ellie's comment about corn & strawberries! love it. :)