know.
i want to know this person smiling right at me. i want to hear her laughter as she looks toward someone she loves who has managed to snap this moment of perfect joy.
this is what i said each time we watched this and came to this photo.
i want to know her, i would say to jon.
and sometimes tears would knock at the back of my eyes as my mind would catch up with my words.
what is she thinking in this moment? who surrounds her? she is not quite two and on the south carolina coast. more than thirty years ago. thirty years. she did not know that more than three decades later she would wish that she had memorized every second of this moment. we never realize how much we will want to remember each sound, touch, breath.
i see hope and a heart open to all that is to come. i see love. i see a little girl who already knows love.
i want to know her.
she is a teacher this one. she is a teacher and those around her on this day know this truth. yes. they do know as they look at her wide open heart taking in each moment, each sound, each touch, each breath. in the quiet places where they are safe being themselves, they know she is here to teach them to open their hearts even if only for one breath. open up, she whispers as the wind blows and she smiles with love on her face.
i want to know her.
i want to reach my hand through this photo and touch that soft cheek and say, please tell me all you know. please tell me what it feels like to love with such a softness, with such hope.
i want to know her.
and the tears tap at the backs of my eyes as my mind catches up with the truth,
this is me
Reader Comments (15)
Yes! "to the water" Indeed! Isn't it fluttering to the heart to see "her" and be so familiar with her? To want to connect with her. Sometimes I am brave walking toward my childhood, most times not. That is a feeling I have learned to honor.
I love this post, especially through my tears.
: )
xo
This was lovely. I sometimes look back at my old photos and wonder who I was.. but now I get to see so many fresh views through my daughter. It's not the same thing, not the same time, not the same person.. but still a glimpse of how it might have been.
Enjoy your day!
Sweet innocence, a time when all is possible. As we age, the range of possibilities narrows but is still more vast than we admit. (And though you didn't capture your own child-image, this still counts as a self portrait in my book).
you know honey, i think you are so much closer to her than you think...i see you in her face, almost more than i have in the other snaps you've shared here over the years.
i see her in you and you in her. love. xoxo
and let me not miss the opportunity to comment that i would love a patchwork, smock-style top such as yours in this photo. (=
i am always so glad to see your new post appear in my dashboard...you are such a lovely writer...so full of honesty and heart.
I agree with Kristen on this one....you do know her...she is you. And you are working your way back to the simple understanding that she had every.single.day.
I believe this with all of my heart.
And I believe that part of why this picture may resonate so much is that you recognize it too.
I do recall a certain photo taken not so very long ago where you had nearly this same smile and certainly this same joy.
xoxoxo
p.s. on a fashion note: that little girl had on an oh-so-groovy shirt. ;-)
*tears ... this is oh so incredibly beautiful honey, xoxo
She is still in there. Have you ever read The Artist's Way? The author talks a lot about how our artistic self is a child, and I think there's a lot to that. I find myself going to back to some of my favorite childhood things -- a form of wisdom I've been missing for years.
The second I looked at this photo, before even reading the post below it, this lyric from John Mayer's song popped into my head:
Do it with a heart wide open.
A wide heart.
Say what you need to say.
And you do, Liz, you always do.
That is how you know her, that is how you remember her--with your heart wide open. And you teach us to keep our hearts open as well!
thank you.
A beautiful post, dear Liz.
LOVE the photo :-)
{{HUGS}}
What a beautiful child... what a beautiful woman she has become... she is there within.
You know her, you may just need to sit down together under the sun or stars and have a long conversation in silence.
:-)
(((HUGS))),
Me
I get just as emotional when I look at old pics of myself too. Although I just want to tell her it will be allright. More than allright actually.
Beautiful post love.
xxoo,
a.
very well written, powerful.
Hi Liz,
I've never posted on your site before, but this post really reached down and pulled at my heart. It is beautiful, and so is the rest of your writing. Have you put this to a video with music?