november 3
autumn sky above puget sound . november 2009
i want to show up and say something here. but the words are jumbled in my brain and the need to "say something inspiring" is bugging me with its insistent little ways. maybe i will just share some random thoughts that are skipping across my brain this evening. i am so grateful for friends who listen while i babble and then share just that piece of insight that has me nodding knowing i am heard and understood. chocolate pudding is making me very happy. i had butterscotch pudding while in the emergency room friday night (i am okay. long story involving choking on a cracker. sigh. always something.) and ever since i have been having seconds of cravings for pudding. might have to have another bit of pudding in a few moments. millie sleeps so much and i am a little jealous of how she can just curl up and start snoring. jon is kind of the same way. napping i have down, but getting to sleep at night is not so easy lately. brain will not stop flitting here and there and across the way. reading the notes on facebook and blogs and emails from the women who experienced the unearth retreat are like the flashlight i need to know i am on the right path. i am so grateful for them. i keep wishing i could call my grandmother in the middle of the day. i want her advice right now. a little part of me wishes we were going to walt disney world soon. i just kind of want to sit in epcot and listen to the music and just be. though i admit that there is something odd about a woman who wants to go to wdw to "just be." maybe i should change that image to maui. yes. maui would be perfection. i could watch for whales and someone could bring me drinks with fruit and i could just be. want to join me? universe, i put out there that i would love to find a way to write the rest of my book while on a beach somewhere. watching for whales and eating fruit, lots of fruit. yes. perfection.
thanks for listening.
do you have anything you might want to share in this moment? i would love to hear from you...
liz lamoreux
Reader Comments (5)
I spent an hour or so in an MRI machine today, having one of two MRIs I have to have this month. I hate small spaces. The good thing was my favourite tech, Jay did my MRI today, which made it bearable. I also learned something interesting: You cannot clasp your hands together in an MRI machine-it creates a circuit and you get zapped as if you've stuck a finger in a live socket. OUCH!
If nothing else, I am learning to appreciate the science behind the medicine. At this point, I have seen the intricacies of my brain, spinal cord and heart. There's a feeling of awe that washes over me when I see my spinal cord in 3D on a computer screen or watch a video of the individual chambers of my heart at work. We are living, breathing art.
"the flashlight i need to know i am on the right path. i am so grateful for them." i love this line! you've got me thinking about all of the little flashlights i have in my life right now. thank you.
I am currently sitting in a valley. Outside looking in, noone would be able to tell. Only a close girlfriend knows what I am feeling right now. I am good at focusing on the positive so the negative does not consume me, yet there are moments it creeps up on me and I allow myself to feel those sorrowful feelings. Not for long, just briefly. I am not denying them, instead, I am embracing them. They need nurturing, too. I am learning the lesson of this valley, then I will rise and walk out of it. There is only one way out, one step at a time and moving upward.
Wind blowing, waves far and rushing in, roaring...until calm hits the beach and a wide band of shallow water swiftly reaches you in a quiet reminder that all is connected.
That was the best I could do -- a sort of virtual hug.
Can't wait to meet you in person in March and give you a real hug.
Take care,
=) Liz
oh dear liz...you are SO on the right path. what you gave to 24 women at "unearth" was precious. it is a gift you shared that keeps on giving...that is one of the most priceless parts of it all. we all get to continue carrying a part of "you" with "us" in the space around our hearts. i continue to feel the love and friendship that was planted in manzanita, every single day. the support we are all giving one another is beyond what i could have ever hoped for. 24 beautiful, real, solid, creative friends are now a part of my life because liz elayne is ON THE RIGHT PATH! thank you my dear friend!
(oh, and i would LOVE to go to the beach on maui with you anyday!)