already another wednesday...
i have been writing blog posts in my head for several days now. i want to tell you all about the wonderful weekend jon and i had. how we celebrated his birthday. how i made him this pretty cool blanket. how we were able to eat outside because it is so nice here. how we went to folklife (an art and music festival) and i was dancing with glee there. how we spent time with my friends who are moving out here next month who were here looking for a house (i can't believe i haven't told you about them. they are moving here. it.is.the.best.thing.ever.). i want to tell you everything and even share some photos.
but. last night i had my first migraine. ugh. jon said it best, that it is like having a mindquake. yes. indeed. the worst. so today my brain and body are still trying to readjust and stuff, and i am conserving mental power for work (whatever that means...i hope you know what i mean), but i do want to leave you with something.
yesterday, my friend heather called to read me this article from newsweek. you might have read it; it is from the "my turn" page and is called "'I'm Sorry' Shouldn't Be the Hardest Words." i think everyone should read it. everyone. please go read it now and then share it with everyone you know.
this is me
Reader Comments (11)
Oh how true that is. Having worke don a crisis line for 8 1/2 years, I can't tell you how many times i heard this from folks.I have been on the receiving end of this myself and it's so hard.
I think that biggest gift you can give to someone who is grieiving is to say "Tell me about your loved one." There is something so healing about being able to speak their name, to recall what you loved about them and to have someone compassionately listen and witness it for you. It validates the meaning that person had in your life and allows them for a brief moment to come alive again.
I am almost 3 1/2 years into my grief for someone I loved very much and I can say there is no timetable for when it "gets better". Some days it's liveable, some days it's terribly painful. It's hard to say if I will ever be okay with it. It's complicated and it is what it is.
Thanks for sharing that article. We as Westerners do grief badly.
Yes. I read this article. I thought it was very good. Very good. And so true. People are so uncomfortable with grief. And they just want to have everything be better as fast as it can. This was very hard for me when I was in high-school, after a car accident I was in, where two friends died. I was still bruised and hurting, and people were wispering that I should "get over it", just a few weeks later. One heartless teacher,(who should have been fired, imo) actually told me and a friend this...My friend was still in a full leg cast! I was in a back-brace! Not to mention that we saw. our. friends. die.
Hello??
But people don't deal with grief. They just don't. And this author said what needs to be said. I hope people get it.
:)
as someone who is new to grief and has yet to experience significant death, i appreciate you sharing this so that i might be a comfort to my friends who have lost dear ones. thanks for sharing, liz.
Sending well wishes your way...
liz,
i read that article. thank you for opening up people's eyes to this...it is especially important as a grieving progresses, i believe. and i HAVE to tell you about this article that tatterededge's comment "as westerners we grieve badly" reminded me of (a sentiment i agree with). please, please tell me you've read 'forever hold your penguin dear', on the 37 days website.
i think you will love it. here is the link:
http://37days.typepad.com/37days/2006/11/forever_hold_yo.html
holding your hand and wishing you peace....(yay! about your friends!)
What a beautiful and informative article. Thanks for sharing it.
I'm rally sorry to hear about your migraine. Those are rough. I just recently started having them too. Not good. Hope you are feeling lots better very soon!
xo,
Karen Beth :)
oh honey, may that be your first and LAST migraine. they are the pits. acupuncture has helped mine tremendously!
don't get another one. i mean it.
So sorry to hear about the migraine. Those are so miserable...ugh. I hope it turns out to be your first AND your last!
The article was very good. Thanks for the link!
hello beautiful friend. i just wanted to stop by and say hi...
i see your etsy is up! it looks amazing!
kisses to you!
some very true words in that article, thank you for sharing it ... hugs!
so wonderful about your friend moving there ... that is the best!
My best friend just lost her grandfather. I enjoyed this article, and I bet she will too.
Thanks for sharing it.