with my brother {self-portrait challenge}
With my baby brother
(Though fall does seem to have arrived in the Seattle area, this picture was actually taken last winter. I tried to get my brother to pose for a picture today but he just wasn’t feeling all that photogenic so I am sharing this one.)
I spent part of the day with my brother today. It was an unexpected gift in the midst of the craziness of things lately. We had lunch and did a little bumming around Portland. And at some point, in the middle of the afternoon, I had this realization, “my brother is an adult.”
I feel lucky to know him and to call him my friend. He is pursuing his dreams in a way that makes me stand back and grin. He has realized he has a gift and he is using it. It really is quite fantastic and inspiring.
We spent part of the afternoon with Alexandra and she was asking us about our relationship. As we talked, Matt and I had this realization that we don’t really have a lot of baggage about one another. There have been times when we haven’t been as close or have bugged each other in the way that happens when you are siblings, but we don’t really have a lot of “stuff” within our relationship. We may have feelings about the roles we play in our family, but when it comes to me and my brother sitting and talking…well, we just seem to get it. I think that this is partly because we have other stuff to deal with in our lives and we are the kind of people who just realize that it is easier to support one another than find reasons not to care and love. Even though we may have chosen different paths (and he is a lot cooler than me), we can meet in this safe place.
The image that comes to mind is that in my family I have often felt like I am on an island sitting in the dark. The way I look at the world; the way I want to talk about things; the kinds of relationships I have with people – how I want to just move on past the crap and get to the good stuff; the beliefs I have; the books I read; and on and on…these things have invited me to feel a bit apart. But in the midst of today I felt as though my brother arrived with a flashlight and some candles and said, “Hey, you weren’t ever really alone, you just forgot to call out for me. I was here the whole time.”
And that is a really beautiful gift.
self-portrait
Reader Comments (22)
beautiful words and thoughts. I hope my kids come to realize that soon - though that's a bit mature for 9 and 6 year old to understand now.
I'll remember that in my relationships (esp. with my little sister who I tend to butt heads with!)
That is a beautiful gift, and so beautifully described! I feel incredibly lucky in the siblings I have too.
I can't tell you how much I love this photo and your words. Really lovely dear Liz.
On a side note, I have to say that I enjoy driving the punch buggy much more now, after spending the afternoon in yours.
xo
Oh, sigh, that last paragraph got me. How beautiful.
I've been thinking a lot lately about the nature of aloneness and this really touched my spirit. Thank you.
such a cutie!
:)
and i loved how
you portrayed your
relationship with your
brother...
it sounds like a
good way to be.
:)
wow...i love this picture of you two. i can sense the closeness and comfort in your relationship.
i love that your relationship is just easy, you get it and have realized there doesn't need to be drama. how refreshing is that?!?
you are both *cool* and adorable...
brotherly love... don't you just love brothers! i was so happy to have one while growing up - it made things a lot simpler with the gender balance in our home.
glad you two have this connection!
that is so sweet...and he is definitely a cutie...
o, i dont have a brother. but would love one. thanks for sharing your story and observations about your relationship. i can relate to being an "island". still hoping i can connect with one of my sisters on a dingy =)
sweet photo =)
That's a lovely photo and it was great to read about your relationship with your brother.
Good lookin bro you have! And he couldn't have a better first name--Matt! that's my son's name--kinda partial.
It's nice to see such a cool relationship between brother & sister, I hope mine end up having the same the older they get.
Thanks for sharing!
And this was a beautiful post...and little brother is a cutie :)
xxxd
Love seeing you smile with your bro, glad you two had a good day.
Sometimes I simultaneously feel alone...like I am the only one with these interests, thoughts, and beliefs...even though I believe with every fiber of my being we are all connected...you know what I mean?
(and I am waiting to hear more about kenny, keeping my fingers crossed for you :))
What a gift that comfort and ease is in your relationship. You don't have to look far to see families who are missing out on those blessings. It speaks volumes about the kind of people you are as individuals. Glad you had that good time with him this week!
I had such a good time with you two and am moved and inspired by your relationship with each other. Sure, I would have liked to sharpen my rusty goofy therapist skills but c'est la vie! You two are both wonderful!
you both have such soulful spirits and i love how comfortable you are with each other, even with the differences. lots of love....
How lucky you both are - he´s very cute!
I enjoyed reading about a gentle and relaxed relationship between brother and sister. It was beautiful to me...the picture is full of mood--and I am glad you've seen how his story links to yours.
It's great you and your brother have such a close relationship. I envy that. And, it was great to see you the other night!!
oh man, this photo makes me wish i lived in seattle! my husband and i have often talked about moving there. maybe...maybe someday. until then i'll dream via your photo. :)
You and your brother look very happy and it sounds like a great bond. Dave's daughter lives there and next time we visit I want to see more of the city :)
What a beautiful story... You are so lucky.