having a bit of a moment and hoping the deity of computers reads my blog
last week, an odd message appeared out of no where on my desktop computer. i shut down. restarted. all was fine. i am one of those wacky people blessed with a laptop and a desktop. i use my desktop for scanning, downloading my pictures from my rebel, printing, and some work and my work-related email. so a whole lotta stuff is on that thing. my laptop is a new purchase (well, in the last few months) so now i am not attached to a desk all the time and can work from the couch or take off for a cafe in the middle of the day and work from there.
but.
the message appeared again today. and now nothing is working. jon spent an hour on the phone with dell and we thought all was right again. it worked for a few minutes (of course we had hung up with ravi the nice guy from dell who just might be in india). until i tried to check my email. same error message. the computer is not working. at all. i can restart in safe mode and it will work for a few minutes. then the same error message.
here is the kicker. (and how i know some of you relate to this next part.)
all of my pictures taken in the last two years are on that damn computer.
(yes. you. yes. you. nodding at this screen. yes. you are right. i did not back them up.)
so this means that the last pictures of my grandmother and me and the last pictures of my golden traveler. these last pictures are stuck on this computer.
so this comes up...
a few weeks ago a friend and i were talking about her big move. the stress that comes with moving period. let alone moving to a new state. it is scary. and she and her husband were feeling the pressure. she said that the three biggest stresses in a person's life are (in order):
losing a loved one
losing a pet
moving
then she looked at me and said, "you had all three didn't you?"
yes. in a nine month time period i moved across the country from the only place i had ever lived (and this means i "changed" jobs), my dog died, and then my grandmother died.
no wonder i felt lost in the midst of it all.
and all the pictures taken during this time of being lost are stuck on my computer. i know there are lessons. don't i always find those darn lessons.
but right now i just want to cry. i feel a deep hole in my chest. i know it isn't about the pictures really it is about all that other stuff. about not having control. about missing loved ones. and i just want to curl up in a little ball.
instead i am crawling into bed with my three uglydolls (we welcomed two new ones into the family this week so jeero is no longer alone) and jon and i'm gonna watch another episode of making fiends.
we'll call ravi the dell guy again tomorrow and hope he can work a miracle. if he can't, then the geek squad may be making a stop by this house.
liz lamoreux
Reader Comments (14)
Hi Liz..
Oh mannnnnnnnnnn. Well the good news is you have a lot of photos on your blog that you can re-save back onto naughty notebook after ravi or the geeks hook you up again...but ya...you are correctemundo on the lesson -or- maybe it is a "message" in your case? thing... Ya you did have a tripple whammy Liz..and you know what? I am so GLAD you came to where you came to (many meanings there) because your intense learning stretch has helped not only you...but the ones around you..and then you realize you are back to square one (little pea) again...it's a cycle..You are feeling so much Liz..so much..intensely so...
Oh regarding your naughty notebook...I find that placing your hands on bothsides of it and lifting it over yourhead and slamming it onto a hard surface (such as concrete driveway, wall) helps..but I suppose that would not be cost effective at this time..so put that remedy on the backburner for now... :-)
oh sweetie, that is just shit.... but surely the pics will still be on the hard drive, and if you take the computer into the shop they'll be able to retrieve them? i think you're doing the best thing - cuddle up to your beloved with the dolls (i want one!) and *breathe* - it will be okay, i promise ... love you x
Oh, Liz...that's a lot of loss in such a short period of time. I don't know enough about computers to offer any help or comfort or even hope, but I think Susannah is right. My (very basic) understanding of computers is that once something is on the hard drive it's always there, might need some expert sleuthing and retrieval, but should be do-able. I think. Curling up is good medicine.
Oh, Liz.
I am one of those people who struggle with moments when I'm not in "control" (and doesn't that come down to just about every moment?!). I'm sorry for the stress that you have endured during the past year. I applaud your acknowledgement of and honesty regarding your experiences.
Hope the computer situation is resolved soon. Also, hope that your "retreat" with your UglyDolls was comforting (we picked up two fellows, Tray and IceBat, for our little boys this weekend at MoMA! Big hit, I'm tellin' ya!)! xo
I have some of my art backed up on discs but not our pictures and I know we need to do this, but it is a long and boring task and one I never make time to do.
My heart kind of sank for you Liz. I wish I could give you a big hug!
Crazy stuff keeps coming your way; but you are so right...there is (somehow) lessons in all of this.
Keep believeing and breathing in all the love and positive energy being sent your way.
Maybe number 4 on that stress list would be computers in general, and crashed ones in particular.... I know how you are feeling. Hope things are looking better.
I am so sorry you are caught in the computer bug vortex. My husband and I were just talking about getting an external hard drive to back up all of our necessary "stuff." I hope Ravi can help you retrieve your precious pictures and other essentials.
As I was reading this...my mind went whirling into panic mode to save all of MY stuff.....
Oh Liz, I'm sooooo sorry~ may the comp. angel visit you soon and make it all work out!
Just like you...looking for lessons :) Such a sweetie!
Making 'headway' in the meditations, I felt like crap yesterday and embrased my 'sick' look (which is pretty ghostly).
Thank You Liz ~ YOU are MY comp angel :)
xxx Darlene
Oh no - SO stressful!! My computer crashed once with me only computer copy of my first book on it. My Dad took it to a place where the guy turned it on its side and turned it on & managed to get most of the stuff off - don't panic - it may be findable!! I'm going to go & back some stuff up now... love to you!
yes, my friend, lots of stress this year. this always makes me think of that quote (i'm sure i've mentioned it to you before): there are years that ask questions and there are years that answer. i can never remember who said that. hang in there. hoping your photos are saved!
xoxo
k
Oh, sweetie. This is such a nightmare! I am thinking good thoughts for your computer and hope that Ravi can work some magic and recover all of your photos.
While I'm not participating in your mirror meditation practice in a consistent way, you have inspired me to look inside and be accepting. I've written an enormous post about this. Stop by when you are able.
much love!!
I feel your pain Liz. You are a fighter like me and we will blog our way through :)
UGH!!!! i'm so sorry. i hope it's not anything major. and yes, all my pics are on my computer too and no, i haven't backed them up...
wow...
we lost a lot of photos
off our computer a couple of
years ago
it is frustrating...
and sad...
and scary.
i hope that it is not too far
gone and that you can get it back
up and running...
(heh, i just realized
i'm a little late
and all of this may have
already been rectified...
i'll read on and see
:)