finding my way back

On being tired

There are days you invite me to hold up
everything in sight. You. The world.
My arms ache. Add more. Go ahead.
My body becomes numb. You look
into my eyes and tell me no one cares
about you. I shift, grit my teeth, and try
to explain you are wrong. You follow
the instructions from your past:
pour more, rinse, repeat.
I start crying. You change the subject
to how you give. I start shaking. I cannot
breathe. You remind me of all you do not
appreciate about me. The time I said nothing
the person I know would say. You remind me.
Again. “Do you see how hard it is to be me?”
Every day I stand, my arms reach to the sky
as the sun burns the back of my neck.

“Yes. I see”

********

Tomorrow this blog will return to the regularly scheduled programming of meditations and self-portraits and pictures from my trip and encouragement and all that good stuff. However, tonight I found my way back to this poem I began a few weeks ago and decided to share it here.

Comments

[gkgirl]

i like the poem...
i like the sense of two voices,
the wording,
the end.

i'm glad you shared it
:)

[GreenishLady]

It's wonderful when there's good stuff, but then, when there's other stuff, it's important to let it get itself said too. You know that. And you say it well. I'm glad you're letting yourself do that. Heavy poem to read. HEavy to carry. Be well, dear Liz.

[acumamakiki]

Wow. I don't know if you saw the Sunday Scribblings prompt this week......somehow it seems really appropriate. You expressed yourself beautifully even though this is sad.

[melba]

I feel that sometimes...the weight of the world and my own life.
I. Feel. The. Weight.
So I think I understand.
and I wonder if other's feel it too. The burden of evolving to be something more...

[Susannah]

i hear you, my friend x

[Star]

ditto...

[Deb R]

Somehow we all seem to end up with someone like this in our lives from time to time. I hear you.

[Dana]

I love your surprise Monday poem post. This poem is difficult to read, but so well-written. The line "I cannot breathe" gets me the most because I know what breath means to you and how you are always reminding others to do it. I hate that anyone could take that away from you.

[kelly rae]

i'm glad you shared it, too. it's important to acknowledge the burdens sometimes. it can be quite freeing.

[la vie en rose]

i see too...