here we go
Music, loud enough to feel the beat in my chest. Boom ba boom-ba. Boom ba boom-ba.
Marc Broussard.
Home.
two, three, four.
As I dance around the house, ipod nano tucked into the band of my yoga pants (okay, the truth is it is tucked into the side of my hanes boy shorts), my own private concert, snapping my fingers to the beat, I have no inhibition. None. I pass the guest room where my husband glances up from the laundry he is folding, an amused look on his face (which has more to do with my having fun while he keeps the laundry going in anticipation of my mother's arrival tomorrow). A tornado could pass through our neighborhood and I probably wouldn't even notice.
here we go.
This is my favorite part. I have to clap now...and the singing begins. Arms above my head. Millie looks on from her spot in the middle of the hallway.
you don't know nothin' about me...
Summer heat is here, windows are open. Do the neighbors think I am crazy? In pain? I don't care. Toe. Heel. Toe. Heel. Pass the mirror in the hallway and decide not to look. Why bring judgment in now? I feel the beat in my soul...nothing will stop me.
take me home...
When I finished listening to this song for the fourth time in a row tonight, dancing to each encore, I thought about the conversation my friend Heather and I had earlier this week. The one about dancing. I started ballet at four, so dancing has been a part of my life for 26 years. A long time. As I child, I spent hours in the basement "practicing," which really meant having my own private dance concerts. From Tchaikovsky to Phil Collins to Madonna to (yes, you guessed it) Kenny Rogers, my body would move to the beat of the music. Twirling, tapping, waltzing (sans-partner). I would pretend Baryshnikov had come to take me away to be a dancer on Broadway in New York (has anyone else seen the PBS special Baryshnikov on Broadway? My dad taped it for me in the 80s, and I probably watched it 1000 times). Sometimes Prince Charming would come to twirl me in circles. Other days I was a back-up dancer finding my inner Solid Gold dancer.
Through all of this play, I learned to feel the music. And yoga has brought this to an even deeper level. It isn't just about feeling the music, it is about feeling my body. Feeling myself. Letting it out through movement.
My mind also turned to Jamie's day in May and Meg's post from March. Two different perspectives. The love of dancing and the desire to want to love to dance.
Heather reminded me that not everyone feels as comfortable dancing as I do. I mean, I will sometimes bust out into a time step in Target. And Jon will twirl me around on the sidewalk and I don't even care if other people think we are odd. I sing in the car, sometimes even when I meet people for the first time. And I dance in my seat. A lot. Dancing (and the occasional karaoke moment) are such a part of who I am that I don't even think about it as odd.
Thinking about all of this has become a theme lately. And I am wondering if dancing may be yet another avenue toward healing. Another way to find yourself...
Do you think you might want to feel the music? Feel your body? Find yourself as you let it out through movement?
liz lamoreux
Reader Comments (24)
i wish i could say
that i do as you do,
that i dance around
regardless who is looking,
but the truth is,
i don't.
i'm not really sure why.
i hadn't really thought about it
before now.
i do sing really loud
(and badly) though
so i guess that counts for something
heehee
this was a very interesting look
into your life that i might have
not expected
:)
I dance around my flat sometimes... and you know how much i love karaoke, so it fills my heart to hear that you do too. you + me = a night of singing, me thinks... :-)
x
Completely infectious. Excuse me now. I'm getting up to DANCE.
I don't usually let myself dance...I am afraid of how I look. Then, at a concert this week, I just did...I danced, in public, and I didn't care. I hadn't thought about this as a possible deeper symbol of my ongoing process to open myself up...but, after reading your post here, now I'm really thinking.
I love this post. I love to dance. I have often thought how wonderful life would be if it were a musical!
Once I saw the word twirling in your post, all I could think of are these lines from Mary Chapin Carpenter.
"Twirl me about and twirl me around
Let me grow dizzy and fall to the ground
When I look up at you looking down
Say it as only a dream"
Have a wonderFULL weekend of twirling!
Correction: "...say it *was* only a dream"
Couldn't help myself! = )
Ava and I have a dance party almost daily. Our song du jour is The Black-eyed Peas, "Lets get it started" and you know how I long to tap. I must dance/hear music as much as possible although of late, I really like the hard, raw sounds of rock n' roll....a favorite right now is Wolfmother.
What a great post Liz. I've got to clean up and throw out many things in the playroom (Ava's at school)and I'm going to pop on my I-pod while I do so. Thank you for the inspiration.
xo
I love music and dancing!! I grew up in a house where we were surrounded by music and my parents dancing all over the place, so I can't go without it now! ONe of the first things about R that I fell in love with was how he could dance. But I know I don't do it enough, so you've inspired me to turn up my tunes and get down!!
I love the image of you dancing through your house, I can totally see it!!
Darlin', I was bopping with you throughout this post. Being able to dance like that is such a feeling of being ALIVE!
Your thoughts here are also helping me as I sort through something. You know I'm wild for Nia, but I've been thinking about whether I actually want to teach it or not. But I keep thinking - I just have to spread this joy!
Keep spreading the joy, you magnificent soul!
i resonate deeply with this. i often dance here in my studio, letting myself go, feeling the music through the core of my being.
i was also a dancer growing up...so it must be something natural, something fierce within us almost as normal as breathing.
loved the image of you dancing through the house with your iPod tucked in your sexy boy shorts. rarrrr!
love you.
Yes,yes,yes!!!
I used to dance. Once in a while a little dancin' leaks out.
what a wonderful idea... :)
i think i'll do just that.
I would give anything to be a natural dancer. I love watching someone with that talent DANCE, be so at home with their body, joyful and free. I dance, in moments of fun and joy, I dance with my goddaughter on my hip, I don't care what people think! And I love to dance in my car, especially in the mornings. Nothing makes me smile like OTHER people car-dancing, either.
So DANCE, baby!
Liz, I loved this post. Its been a long time since I danced and really FELT like dancing but this post put me in touch more and more as I read with a longing to dance and move that I don't think I knew. Or maybe I didn't have it in me til I read this post and wanted to move along with it. ..( & It also inspired a longing for an Ipod!)
the opening of this post so captured the immediacy of the moment- fantastic! We sing everything in our house, ordering commands to the tune of other well known songs, silly rhymes, anything, anything, anything! Singing makes me feel, well, open I guess, in many senses of the word...
Great post!
Is this for Sunday Scribblings? Or just a coincidence? :) I, too, have had a life-long love with dance...AND I almost never ALLOW myself to do it anymore. You've inspired me. ;)
in answer to your final questions - desperately. I want those things desperately. I'm taking baby steps but I loved reading your post. I was deeply jealous as I spun and danced with you - I am so proud of you. LOVE to you my friend!! xoxo
I loved how you described your body's movements to music. Music is fantastic Liz
Reading Delia's comment reminded me of a comment my sister-in-law made to me years ago. She said in a rather critical, negative manner, "madeleine, you never dance do you?".
I realised that she was right, but made excuses for myself at the time. It came down to not being able to let myself go.
I made a decision from then on to let myself go and it changed everything for me. A big deep rooted fear in me was lost, I think. Feeling your body and finding yourself. Well put. :)
this was such a fun post to read! i found myself grinning ear to ear...
Yep, I dance and sing pretty much anywhere!
Great post, Liz!
I love MB too! I was shocked when I saw what he looks like.
Nia!!!!!
Dance is a way to healing and finding one's self.
If you haven't already tried a class, you will love it.