wishing {sunday scribblings}
I remember my mom telling me a story about her teenage years when all she wanted was to be 21. She thought everything would change for the better on her birthday. She would tell her grandmother this, and Grandma Eide would say, "don't wish your life away." My mother would tell me this story several times when I was younger. To be honest, I don't remember the context. If it was a "lesson" moment or rather a time when she simply wanted to talk about her grandmother, a woman she loved deeply. The next part of the story involved the sadness my mother felt when her grandmother died before my mom turned 21. Maybe it was a lesson in irony. I don't know.
When I was about 11 or so, I wrote a poem that was really a song in my head about this story... the lines I remember:
I was sitting next to grandma braiding her long hair
and I asked her 'bout the good old days when she was twenty-one.
She laughed and smiled and asked me why I wanted to know.
I told her that I could not wait until I was twenty-one.
She looked at me and said,
"don't wish you life away dear, don't wish your life away."
I had not thought about this story or these "lyrics" in a long time. And somehow those words are in my head because I can hear the melody that accompanied them.
I am struck by the images of wishing that appear in fairy tales...the young girl wishes for her handsome prince...and all the drama that happens before her wish can come true. I always related to this story. I wanted my prince. I wanted to be old enough for my prince to come and rescue me and take me to far off lands where I could eat cake and wear pretty dresses and dance at the ball. I imagine my mother was having similar thoughts when she was wishing to be twenty-one. As though all would change when she became an adult at that magical age.
It is easy for me to get caught up in the magical world of wishes and fairies and castles and talking animals and creatures you thought existed only in your dreams. But then there are those moments that jerk me back into reality. When my serious nature kicks in and plants me firmly in one spot. Maybe today I can give myself permission to travel to those far off lands and share three wishes...
I wish you could see my wings, the ones I feel along my shoulder blades, the ones that whisper to me and move me forward; they are deep, indigo blue with shades of purple, and they are soft and full of strength and fearlessness. If you come a bit closer, they can envelope you and for a moment you will be home.
I wish I had a companion in the form of a golden furry, friendly beast who would remind me that everyday I can find the courage to share all that is spilling open in my soul (and maybe it could also warn me when the scaries are coming or help me look out for other bumps in the night).
I wish I had a magical power that would let me: step into books and wrap myself up in a quilt and sit at the feet of kate chopin as she wrote The Awakening, or live, just for a moment, inside a painting of a little girl wearing a backpack, holding a fishing line and ask her where she is going, or lie down inside the words of William Stafford until our hearts beat with the same rhythm.
If a fairy princess appeared with a magic wand today, I would ask her for these three things...
(to read how other people might wish or think about wishes head over to sunday scribblings)
liz lamoreux
Reader Comments (20)
Talk about letting your imagine soar! An exquisite piece of writing here, Liz. Thank you for sharing so many things, esp. your memories and your dreams! xo
now that's what i call using your wishes wisely and fully!
and i hope my wings look like those fabulous wings the victoria secret models get to wear--huge and feathery and fuzzy
Your wings sound beautiful.
So many wonderful images that you´ve conjured up in my head with this post...a little friend like that would be great.
delightful read
Oh, wouldn't it be great to step into a book you love? I wish I could do that! What an idea for a wish. Because don't you just wish, after reading a wonderful book, that you could know what the characters are doing now, because they became so real to you?
Good wishes, and beautiful writing, too. ;)
:)
What beautiful wishes ... lovely anecdote about yourself and your grandmother and mother - I'm always a sucker for three-generarion-females stories. That warning phrase 'don't wish your life away' is quite powerful when isolated and examined the way you've done in this piece of writing.
"Don't wish your life away" yet don't let your "serious side kick in and plant you" solid.
Grab those wings and ride the tide of desire!
You wrote such an expressive post on wishing
Love your description of your wings, Liz! I wish I could see them, too, all of our wings, but I can imagine them, and I can see you unfurling them, day by day. Make sure you dream some big strong wings for your golden furry beast, too, so he can fly with you!
Your wishes are so creative and enchanting - yes, I believe I can almost
see your indigo wingfeathers fluttering now...
And if you ever step in beside Mona Lisa, you must ask her why she so subtly smiles!
oh Liz, what a gorgeous post, just magical. i see your wings every time i come to your blog - and they suit you perfectly. fly high my friend...
Sx
Liz, what beautiful, magical and inspired writing! Thank you! As for the "wishing your life away" line, my mother always said that to me; I expect her mother said that to her as well. I don't think it was meant unkindly; perhaps just as a cautionary tale or a way to stop us "whining," about wanting something.
ahhhh...i love how you have
explored and intrepreted this one...
so interesting...
made me want to go back
and read it again
:)
Beautiful, simply beautiful.
ooh oh Liz, I always worried that I was the only one who could feel wings - that I was a little bit nuts to think it. I can feel them unfurling sometimes on my back if I concentrate really hard. I'm not sure what they look like yet, you'll have to look when we see each other!
P.S. You have very possibly inspired a WHOLE BOOK in me today. Reading your post I had a fuzzy tingle in my book antenae... I need to pull back and think about this one, but I will tell you everything before I write one word. Ooh Liz.... honestly, I am FULL of thoughts on this... ooh... OOH... I'll send you the notes I scribble... OOH!!!
Oh my gosh, I love the idea of the wings that we can learn to feel! Your wishes are spectacular--sitting at the feet of a favorite writer--wonderful!
I love your wishes girlfriend. This is a special post.
I knew you had wings, but I had no idea they were blue and purple. ;)
what a lovely story. You're such a gifted writer. :)
This is brilliant!! You are truly gifted with words, something that you seem to have possessed for a long time. Thank you so much for sharing this with us!
Fly high!!