honesty {AW}
The morning pages: a place to find the honesty.
This was what I learned this week. Writing stream of consciousness invites a letting down of the guard...a space to let the thoughts float to the surface and live. The fear of feeling is quiet. The truth I would not write about began to bubble and vibrate in the morning pages. The sketchbook I used for the tasks was too nice, too clean, too pretty for the realness of the words I needed to write. I did not want to leave a trace of my true feelings about those who did not support the creative spirit of my childhood. What if they found it? What would they think? I did not want them to feel hurt or sad or angry. But really, would they ever see? No. Still, the fear was there. In the morning though, looking at that plain notebook paper, amongst the "I don't want to do this" and the "I am hungry and my hand hurts," I began to write my truth.
Reader Comments (11)
this is awesome liz. i've found a similar experience in the morning/daily pages. when they're not in a pretty journal and i have to keep on writing, the truth is bound to come out. i've heard of people burning their mp's after the course is over, as a way to release that energy and to protect their privacy. not a bad thought. :-)
what a wonderful post Liz. "Writing stream of consciousness invites a letting down of the guard". so beautiful. so true. I look forward to read you every day.
The challenge of saying what is so is always a great one. I know for myself that one of the greatest fears that I have is that I'll do something and the ones I love the most will stop loving me. Keep digging deep, keep discovering, keep writing your way through.
Good for you!! This is why I write (very illegibly) in a cheap spirtal notebook...I want the freedom to let EVERYTHING out...even the deepest, darkest, secret-est, ugliest stuff.
I came across your blog through your comment on another's. Stream of consciousness writing can be terrifying, and I personally find it difficult to NOT censor myself. Society has trained us all well in the area of censorship. However, when we work through the defenses, the rewards of such free writing can be incredible.
It is something I have been contemplating lately...perhaps soon I shall be trying to allow my own self to corrupt the clean white paper with the raw truth of corruption.
Feel free to visit my blog site as well. And keep up the great writing. I look forward to reading more.
those are great words
and i think the trick
is in the
stream of consciousness
(and my hand hurt too)
:)
Each and every single word you wrote was beautiful and captured with it the essence of your feelings on writing. I appreciate this post and I appreciate you sharing it. It was beautifully written!
Stream of consciousness is one of my favorite writing exercises...favorite things to do...for the very reasons you've expressed here. It unleashes truth in places you hadn't realized needed it. Keep writing, exploring, searching for truth. You are better for it.
good for you. when i worked through AW i think i used loose leaf paper and then put them in an envelope to hide them.
oh, you said that really well. :) i've been feeling the same way about some of the same things. ..."what if my husband read it? i'll end up just filling this nice journal with junk," yada-yada...
but there's something to be said for filling up all that emptiness with LIFE!!
wonderful writing here. thanks for sharing these thoughts. i think many of us have felt this same way.
I am still waiting for an ahah moment like the one you've described here, where your truth finally comes out. I think tara dawn might be onto something as to why it hasn't happened for me. Maybe I'm subconsciously censoring.
I am thankful to be able to read about your experience, because it makes me feel more hopeful that the day will come where I won't have three pages of pure brain dump.